All Of My Life, I Waited Too…

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This post is a sequel of  All Of My Life, I Waited…


All of my life,
I waited too for you to blush,
After I say hello with smile,
I enjoyed your shyness.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too to sing many songs for you,
Only you were the one,
Who engrossed fully in my voice.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too for you to make eye contacts,
So I could see that adoration in your eyes,
Your eyes expressed everything honestly.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too for your nonsense jokes,
I never noticed about what you said,
But that innocence with which you said.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too for you to listen to me,
Only you understood my anger,
You were the one I found so close.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too to celebrate my glories with you,
When you congratulated me,
I could see your eyes overflowing with happiness.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too to talk trash and go crazy,
And, you didn’t try to get me back to normal,
Instead, you started talking trash and went crazy with me.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too to fall in love with you, again and again,
I had flaws, but you made me feel special about me.
Only you accepted me as the way I am.
But, you thought I never cared.

All of my life,
I waited too for more than one gestures,
To express my love openly & wholeheartedly,
Yes, I loved you more than anything.
But, you thought I never cared.

And now,

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because now I wonder if you ever loved me,
Why don’t you listen to me once?

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
And I’ll tell you now, why I’m glad?
You don’t have the slightest idea what I had gone through.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because my parents and all my relatives turned against me,
When I told them I want to spend my life with you.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because you were afraid to come to my father,
And ask for my hand like a gentleman.

I had to care about being a nice girl,
Because knowing my father’s aura and position,
And you never dared to confront my father.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because you chose your safety over our love at that time.
I fought for us and you only asked, what’s going on?

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Though you chose safety, I decided to choose love.
And I fought with them every moment for us.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Knowing I am not going to change my mind,
My father tried to commit suicide.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Fortunately, my uncle saved him and I had no choice.
To care about social dogmas and marry that guy.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Though I apologized you thousand times,
You never tried to understand me.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because you never took responsibility,
For what happened to us, you only blamed me.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because I realized, my father was giving away his life,
Not for the social dogmas, but for a loser like you.

I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because, my husband always tries to understand me,
And stays by my side whenever I need him.

The crazy fact,
I’m glad I cared about being a nice girl,
Because it’s not them,
It’s you,
Who took my existence for granted,
When I needed you the most.


 

(Image courtesy of radnatt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

All Of My Life, I Waited…

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All of my life,
I waited for that hello,
And your charming smile
That blossoms with it,
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited for to listen,
That song you always hummed
With your melodious voice,
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited to make that eye contact,
And pretend like we caught
Each other’s gazes coincidently,
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited for that spontaneity,
With which, you reacted
To my silly jokes.
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited to suffer with you,
When you expressed your feelings
In anger or frustration or anxiety.
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited to enjoy with you,
When your hard work and dedication
Resulted in your glories and achievements.
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited to attain perfection,
And, you made me realize that
Only you made me perfect.
But, you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited to fall in love again and again,
With your flaws and weaknesses,
I just wanted you to be yourself, always.
But you never cared.

All of my life,
I waited for that one gesture,
When you express your love
Openly and wholeheartedly,
But, you never cared.

But you,

You only cared about being a nice girl,
And they forced you to marry,
A guy who didn’t even know you beyond your beauty.

You only cared about being a nice girl,
For those who didn’t care about you.
But, only cared about social dogmas.

You only cared about being a nice girl,
See where it has gotten you,
They get angry at you when you try to be who you are.

And the crazy fact,

You only cared about being a nice girl,
Left me, took my love and my feelings for granted,
And now… they have taken your existence for granted.


 

Also check out the sequel of this post – All Of My Life, I Waited Too…

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The Earth Will Change Its Inclination

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Using my imagination,
Keeping aside others’ expectations,
With single-minded focus and dedication,
Considering all permutations,
And combinations,
Ignoring others’ rational recommendations,
With little preparation,
Ready with my ambitions,
Passionate about creation,
Invention, and innovation,
I strode toward my destination.

Prepared for every examination,
With a determination,
No more procrastination,
In an endeavor to become a sensation,
Taking a necessary action.
Who knew a wrong estimation,
A wrong calculation,
Would end up in destruction,
Changing life’s configuration,
Had to witness dreams’ explosion,
Which tore me into particles after detonation.

But something’s termination,
Is something else’s inception,
Mistakes are for education,
Only need rectification,
Learn from miscalculation,
Failure is just a conception,
A mere hallucination,
Has no signification,
If I get up without hesitation,
I have potential with no limitation,
Will use it for resurrection.

Yes, I suffered demoralization,
Despite all the opposition,
I wasn’t ready for capitulation,
Prepared for retaliation,
To the world’s fierce incursion,
This time, a smarter execution,
Enhancing my disposition,
And the crazy fact,
The earth will change its inclination,
Because those who gave me negative proposition,
One day, I will become their admiration.


 

(Image courtesy of satit_srihin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Who Is Hiding Honest Feelings Now?

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His fingers trembled, fear in eyes,
Sweat trembling down his forehead,
Chest throbbing, as he sputtered,
I LOVE YOU.
And handed over a letter,
Filled with his feelings.

He knew he was not that bold,
To express everything,
By looking straight into her eyes.
But he was determined,
To say what he felt for her,
To express articulately.

No matter what was going to happen,
He wanted to give her that letter,
And he did it.
He thought the adrenaline elevated,
At the highest level.
But he was wrong about it.

It was just a beginning,
He had to face the reaction,
Of a spunky girl, staring right back to him,
Confident, still, determined.
Her simple glance was enough,
For anyone to take their gaze away.

He was an ordinary guy,
Shy, stoic, reticent,
Who showed some guts on that day.
She opened the letter,
And closed it immediately.
Her eyes radiated her spunky nature.

He was still & glanced at her,
Thought she’s expecting an explanation,
But he sputtered,
What do you think?
In a low voice, so low,
That it didn’t even reach his own ears.

She was quiet, staring him earnestly,
He looked down out of nervousness,
And she began laughing uncontrollably,
His perplexed mind,
Reflected through his eyes,
As he looked at her.

Eventually, you did it.
You mad, what do you think?
You are quiet, hide your honest feelings,
So, I won’t know what’s inside,
Your eyes can’t hide anything,
I know what you’ve written in this letter.

I understand, it’s difficult for you,
To explain everything eloquently,
I understand, it’s easy for you,
To express yourself through writing,
I understand, what you want to say,
When your eyes express everything.

I know, when you get insecure,
When others compliment me and you couldn’t,
I know, when you are sad,
When you try to show everything is normal.
I know, when you are happy,
When your eyes are expressionless.

You are so good at,
Hiding your honest feelings,
Look up now,
What are you so shy about?
I told you everything,
How much you spoke through your eyes.

He blinked & looked into her eyes,
With utmost sincerity,
He said it again,
I LOVE YOU.
The sweetness in his voice,
Reflected his true feelings.

And it was the moment,
When she blushed & looked down.
He said mischievously,
I said it, eloquently.
Look up now,
What are you so shy about?

You mad, you shouldn’t ask this,
When you know the answer.
He said, I can’t read expressions in eyes,
Like you do, so just say it.
She said, you know it,
No, I don’t, he replied.

‘I hate you.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘Yes, I do.’
The crazy fact,
It was her,
Who was hiding honest feelings.

She glanced at him,
Her eyes radiated adoration,
The time stopped for a moment,
Nothing else mattered at that moment,
And, finally, she showed her honest feelings,
I LOVE YOU.


 

(Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Do You Know How Hard It Is For Me?

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Do you know how hard it is for me?
To come up to you,
And start a conversation,
I tried it twice before,
And thought thousand times,
About how to make a first impression?

Do you know how hard it is for me?
Not to blush in front of you,
When you say hello,
With your beautiful smile,
And that swag,
So, I wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.

Do you know how hard it is for me?
To digest the fact,
And realize that,
You are special for me,
But for you,
I am just another guy.

Do you know how hard it is for me?
Not to smile quietly,
When I am alone,
Reminiscing your grace,
That I used to observe furtively,
So, others won’t think I’m mad.

And the crazy fact,
Do you know how hard it is for me?
To focus on what matters,
At the present moment,
Rather than roam endearingly,
In a fairytale,
Because I don’t even know whether it has a further chapter.


 

(Image courtesy of aechan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

As I Look Deep Into Her Eyes

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Every day, I think, I won’t think about her.
But, those thoughts emerge,
When I see a couple laughing together.

Those feelings evoke,
As beats of a romantic song vibrate my eardrums.

Tears drip down,
When the mind,
Rolls over those moments we spent together.

An escape from those memories is unavoidable.
Sometimes, the pain becomes unbearable.
My soft heart gained a reputation of cold-hearted.

Yes, she left without a word.
Yes, I am alone now.
Yes, I am afraid to commit again.

Her leaving without a goodbye was agonizing.
I have thought of thousands of reasons for that.

But, an unclarified mind,
Seems far away from the right reason.

I don’t know,
Whether she made the right choice.

But, she gave me a reason to live.
To live for the moment when I will meet her.

And the crazy fact,
My heart will melt as I look deep into her eyes
And forget everything…
Like I used to.


 

(Image courtesy of nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

The Story of New Hairstyle

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I have always been fond of hairstyles, but never dared to get one. I held back myself from getting a hairstyle due to fear of ‘how I will look.’ This time, it was the occasion of convocation ceremony – an official way of university to allow us to explore new horizons. Sportsmen change hairstyles or go bald after winning major trophies. So, I thought I would do the same. The time was right to embody the spirit of new life with new hairstyle. The time was right to do things I have never done before. The time was right to take a leap, doesn’t matter it’s small or big. This new life will definitely ask something that I am unwilling to do, but have to do despite unknown outcomes.

Furthermore, I decided to go to a local hair salon, not to big name hair salon. The major reason behind going to local salon was related with current phase of my life. I graduated with engineering degree, but decided to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. I am amateur at writing. Barbers over there were not much experienced or amateur in doing trending hairstyles though they have been cutting hair for so long. Similarly, I have been writing from past three years and yes, I’m still an amateur. If I ask them I want a Tapered Undercut or High Fade With Medium Slicked Pomp, they won’t understand a word. They have to stretch themselves, read some hairstyle related magazines, or visit websites that provide information about trending hairstyles. In the same way, if I read ‘striving to obliterate excruciating memories is preposterous,’ then I won’t understand the meaning and I have to expand my vocabulary. I have to write more, hone my skills, and stretch my mind to get better.

I showed him a photo and asked whether he did this before. As expected, he said no, but affirmed he will try to do exactly as it was in the photo. I thought I should trust him considering his willingness to try. Similarly, a company gave me a job in writing and an opportunity to learn & develop skills considering my willingness to learn. He observed details in that photo and he did well. Not really good. But good. Same way I am doing right now with my writing skills. Not really good, but good.

And the crazy fact is, I know what this hairstyle is called as. It’s ‘Medium Fade with Medium Length Pompadour.’