Sense Of Being Alive

Copyright: Erin Leary

 

“Wake up, Theo! Go for a walk. Waking up late is not good for health,” said father.

“Oh, no! Dad!! You always force me to do things,” replied Theo.

“You’ll feel fresh for rest of the day if you experience freshness of air in the early morning.”

He somehow convinced Theo to go for a walk.

When Theo exhaled the fresh air & closed his eyes, he lost into the fog of contemplation.

“What I had been doing? The crazy fact is, I was missing the most beautiful moments of life which give me sense of being alive for extra unnecessary sleep.”

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This Post is a part of  Friday Fictioneers – 23 May 2014.

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20 thoughts on “Sense Of Being Alive

  1. A good lesson – I hope it sticks with Theo for a long time.
    I had the sense at the beginning that English was not the father’s first language, because the idiom didn’t flow perfectly (eg “good for *your* health”, “for *the* rest of the day), which gave an interesting element to the character, but if this was your intention, you might want to distinguish it more by giving Theo super-natural idiom.

    1. No, I didn’t have intention of giving specific idiom to father.. It is my mistake that I didn’t write it perfectly!! Yes, I’ll keep that in mind.. Thanks for suggesting the other way around of giving Theo super-natural idiom… 🙂
      Thanks for caring enough to tell me what you think & suggesting areas of improvement. I really appreciate that!! 🙂 🙂
      Keep Visiting..

  2. I like the way you worked the fog into the story, Pratik. Being a morning person, I think his dad make the right choice. Just a couple quick things…”he lost into the fog” would be more usually said as “he was lost in the fog” or “lost in a fog” while “What I had been doing” should be “What have I been doing.”

    janet

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