Continued From – Part 2
Days were passing by with a confused state of mind. Bhuvika was learning to avoid thinking about him and focus her energy on things that matter. One day, she saw Vikesh limping off. He met with an accident. He limped off with a sprained ankle. Bhuvika’s sensitive side made her to think about asking him how he was. She discussed this thought with Sheena. She advised her to try. Bhuvika asked sheena to go with her. She knew she couldn’t do this all alone. They saw him in the basement sitting alone and approached.
“How is your leg?” asked Bhuvika politely.
“It’s none of your business,” replied Vikesh rudely and looked away.
“I am trying to know how your condition is and you’re being rude.”
“So, what? I can be what I want to be. You don’t tell me what I should do.”
Bhuvika walked away, agitated by his response. Sheena asked her to wait, but she didn’t. The response was hurtful. It was him who misunderstood everything, never took an initiative to clear out misunderstanding, and treated her with disrespect. Again, it was difficult to understand. She only had a choice to run away from there and be alone. Sheena didn’t try to console her, but rebuked Vikesh.
“Why are you doing this to her? Don’t you have a decency to talk to someone who asks about your health? Is this how you treat people who care about you? How can you be rude to her? This is unacceptable,” rebuked Sheena.
“You know everything. You know how she treated me. You know she didn’t come to the restaurant on that day. She didn’t even reply whether she is coming or not. This is the way she treated me and you expect me to treat her with decency?” snapped Vikesh.
“After the word you used to describe your relationship on that phone call, you expect her to reply? She was going out with her husband that day to sort out their issues. She didn’t go out with him because she could not focus on anything after your conversation. Then, she tried to strike conversations with you many times. But, you can’t get over your ego. You didn’t have decency at that time and not even this time. At least try to know her side of story. Without knowing the whole picture, you are jumping on conclusions. This is not the right way to deal with misunderstandings. It seems you don’t care, she is the one who is concerned about solving the misunderstanding and you are concerned about feeding your ego. I can’t stand here for one more moment.”
Sheena left him and tried to console Bhuvika. But she asked for alone time.
She wanted to concentrate on her work, but she couldn’t. She wanted to improve relationship with her husband, but she couldn’t. All because of this unsolved misunderstanding and unresolved issues. She was not able to figure out why she was investing her mind to figure out what were her feelings about the man who didn’t care about her. He was living in a misunderstanding and she was living in a hope that he would leave his ego aside and talk.
He didn’t clarify that he no longer wanted to have any contact with Bhuvika. He stared her while having a walk in office spaces, tried to know what was happening in her life, and did everything to know what she was up to. For him, he was taking a revenge for accusations his mind imagined. She was also at fault as she was investing her mind in thinking about him, hoping for a clarification, and spoiled every other thing that didn’t concern him – her happiness, her peace of mind, and her life.
Bhuvika was not able to understand what kind of feelings she had for him as she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She second-guessed herself every time she was doing something. She was relating her thoughts to these confused thoughts about him. As a result, she was losing confidence in her work, and most importantly, in herself. She was trying everything to escape from these thoughts. Spreading happiness by helping others was her drug to cure from this devastation. But it didn’t work for long. As she saw someone getting happy because of her small acts of help and kindness, she got happy for a moment. As her mind calmed, those thoughts reemerged to remind her about what she was going through and she was pretending to be. She saw everyone getting happy, but at the end of the day, what about her happiness? Does anyone care about that? What about her life? Will it go on in a way it was going on? Nobody knew. Not even her!
Happiness wasn’t a state of mind. Because, the state of mind got disturbed when irrational things happened and all she could do was wait for things to change. Approaching him for clarifications and sorting out misunderstanding would have been a compromise of her self-respect after what he had done to her. The ball was in the court of Vikesh, but he kept it in his pocket. His hand was busy in feeding his ego.
The simple solution would have been a difficult conversation that clarifies everything. But, he was reluctant to dive into those feeling which would reveal the truth. He was afraid to face the truth and more afraid of the fact that he won’t be able to accept the truth. So, he kept everything hanging. He was living under his own perceptions and wasn’t ready to accept the truth. His actions were driven by ego as well as lack of will to understand and clarify. He was also suffering from lack of clarifications and unresolved issues. He was not happy too, but didn’t realize that he was also spoiling someone’s life. The unanswered questions and irrational behavior were spoiling everyone. It stuck everyone at the same place. Her mistake was to stick her mind to it, but she couldn’t help herself over the fact that he was behaving strange and didn’t want to confront. He made a choice to keep everything hanging and she got used to live with lack of clarity. She had no option. Her heart was getting broken again and again. She collected the broken pieces every time to make it ready to break again. The size of broken pieces changed, but breaking did not stop.
The crazy fact is, not confronting to the truth hangs you, but doesn’t kill you.
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