Trust Is Beautiful

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Those conversations,
those comfortable silences,
and those rides.

Opening up true selves,
and sharing some funny yet weird stories,
while finding a way through traffic.

There was no judgmental attitude,
no ego, no holding back.

Even if someone knows,
the other person is talking trash,
the trash was listened carefully and attentively.
Sometimes, even responded with more trash.

The trash used to build up and at a point,
both burst out of laughter.

While riding, some moments were breathtaking,
as the crash seemed inevitable,
but somehow it didn’t happen.
Even when it was told to ride safely,
it wasn’t given much attention to.

And though it wasn’t given much attention,
the pillow rider didn’t leave in between.

Because those conversations,
happening during ride built up trust.

Trust, that no matter how roughly the person drives,
I’m reaching home safely.

Trust, that no one is going to judge,
when the other opens up.

Trust, that no one will try to rationalize,
when the other is talking trash.

And the crazy fact,
That trust made those silences during rides comfortable.

Those silences were beautiful.
Those rides were beautiful.
That comfort was beautiful.
And the trust, it’s always beautiful.

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She Was The One

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“Do you know? I was driving through a narrow lane. Then, I saw a car taking turn and approaching toward me. The lane was narrow, only to let two bikes pass. But the car was sped toward me and I didn’t know what to do. As it approached, I was getting really scared. What am I gonna do? I thought I was about to crash into it. It came closer, when we were about to bump, I went to extreme left, then shifted my handle hastily to left and avoided it from crashing into its mirror. I was an inch closer to wall. I thought I might crash into wall, but I maintained my balance till the car passed and I was safe. I don’t know who was driving the car. That lunatic, pompous jackass! He thought he was driving car means he can get away. What about me? It doesn’t matter if I am safe.”

I rested both of my elbows on the table, putting chin on palms of both hands, and looking at her.

“Are you listening? Do you understand anything? What just happened?” she said.

“No, I didn’t understand anything,” I said. “But I just understood one thing. Your voice is very unique.”

She just gave me a hard look.

“What? No reaction?” I said.

“What do you expect?” she asked.

“You know, I decided this. I knew your voice is very unique. But I thought, I won’t tell you directly. I will tell you when I’ll listen to you, but pretend I didn’t listen to you or understand a word you said. That’s why I looked at you poker faced. Then you are so high of emotions while telling a story about yourself and suddenly I drop a compliment like that to catch you off guard and surprise you. I thought, this is the part where I flirt with you and you blush. And then I pretend like nothing I said was meant to be taken that way, I was just outlining a fact. But it seems, I am very bad at it.”

She shot a hard look again and burst into laughter. Putting her hand onto her mouth, she tried to control it. I was just looking at her, embarrassed. She stopped laughing, looked at me, and again burst into laughter. There I saw. Her eyelids turned downward, her cheeks turned pink, and her laugh ending into a closed mouth smile.

“Now, you are blushing. There you are.”

“Yes, I am. But what’s wrong with you.”

I stared at her. “You know what’s wrong with me.”

We were looking at each other. That moment was the moment when I wanted the moment to stop right there. Just an eye to eye, like the eternity lost, the universe stopped, and the millenniums passed.

And there she knew what was wrong with me.

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” I asked.

“No need,” she said.

The crazy fact, that was the moment I realized, nothing was wrong with me. I was in my full senses when I fell in love. She was the one.

फसा देगी ये आँखे

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ये आँखे, फसा देगी ये आँखे एक दिन,
जुबाँ पलट जाए, पर ये अपनी जिद नहीं छोड़ती,
नियत बता देती है, सच बया कर देती है,
और अनजाने में इकरार भी कर देती है।

हमारी तकरार पे आँखे मासूमियत से बोली,
आदत है मुझे ताने सुनने की,
क्या करे, यहाँ लोगो के दिल बहक जाते है ,
और कसूर नजर को दिया जाता है।

She Gets Into My Head

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She gets into my head.
Whatever she does,
Whatever she feels,
Whatever she says,
Whatever her reactions are,
Whatever she is.

She gets into my head.
When she’s around,
I get distracted.
My attention is toward her.
I may do something else,
But think only about her.

She gets into my head.
Every small detail of her,
Significant or insignificant,
Likes and dislikes,
Everything matters to me,
I admire everything.

She gets into my head.
Even when she’s not around,
I recall our interactions,
Funny, deep, and emotional ones.
And feel good about it.
Like finding a reason to be distracted.

The crazy fact,
She gets into my head.
And she is travelling from there,
Through the road of feelings.
And I never knew,
When she got into my heart.

Choose To Be A Human

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Sometimes I forget to be natural.
I try to act perfect.
I forget I can become vulnerable too.
I just have to accept what I feel.

Just be who I am.
Just throw away the mask.
Just turn on the true face.
I should not pretend I am fine.

If I’m sad, I don’t have to,
again, pretend I’m good.
If I’m happy, I don’t have to,
wonder how I can be happy?

Is there something wrong?
Is there something I missed?
No, no, no.
I don’t have to pretend to be normal.

I forget I have feelings,
It doesn’t demand perfection.
It’s natural to be imperfect.
It’s natural to be a human.

It will take time to pull myself together,
But denial to accept my vulnerabilities,
It will work against me.
People around me notice that.

But I notice that after it happened.
Then I realize I don’t have to do that.
I must accept my feelings,
Even though they make me vulnerable.

The crazy fact is,
Imperfections make us humans,
Trying to be perfect only make us robots,
We must choose to be a human.

मुझे पता है…

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मुझे पता है,
आपको सब पता है, पर बताते नहीं हो,
सब महसूस होता है, पर जताते नहीं हो,

मुझे पता है,
आप सब समझते हुए भी नासमझ रहते हो,
सबके साथ मौजूद रेहकर भी खोये खोये रहते हो,

मुझे पता है,
आप सब सुनकर भी अनसुना करते हो,
सब जानकर भी नज़रअंदाज़ करते हो,

मुझे पता है,
आपको दर्द भी होता है, रोना भी आता है,
और ये सब कुछ,
उस हँसी के पीछे छुपाना भी आता है।


(Image courtesy of pat138241 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

I’m Afraid To Be Happy

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I’m afraid to be happy,
Whenever I get happy,
Some strange sensations,
Frightening thoughts,
Run through my mind.

Is this really happening?
I wonder,
If it’s happening,
Is it happening with me?
I’m not able to believe.

Even if I try to believe,
I want to make sure,
That this is not a conspiracy,
Of a destiny to prepare me,
For a blow-off that may follow.

The crazy fact,
Because whenever I felt happy,
The next moment followed,
With a blow,
Some of them were unbearable.
I only wish,
Happiness stays for long this time.


(Image courtesy of Suriya Kankliang at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

All I Needed To Do 

Seeking validation.
Demanding approval.
Hardwired brain.

Compromising ethics.
Diminishing happiness.
Anguished cry.

The crazy fact,
All I needed to do was,
Be myself.

Crazy Tale Of A King and Queen

‘Customer is king and kings never bargain’ was the first thing I noticed written on a board as we entered the store. We went for shopping today at Rasta Peth, Pune. This is going to be interesting, I thought. My brother was looking for a pair of jeans. Me and mother were helping him. I was just standing over there, pretending to help. A couple with their two kids, a girl of nine and a boy of five entered. Another guy, aged twenty something, seemed like a brother of a woman, accompanied them. They were in the store for buying a shirt for that guy. A salesman joined them.

Little siblings started running around, making noises, and their father asking them to behave themselves. Their mother was busy with her brother in choosing a good shirt. Kids refused to behave decently. So the father gave his phone to play games. Both of the kids sat on staircase. The girl was playing game and the boy was looking into phone. Then the father engaged into helping them choosing.

The guy tried two or three shirts, chose one, and her sister asked the shopkeeper for price. The shopkeeper offered 10 percent discount and refused to reduce price more than than. They were disappointed and didn’t buy anything. Store manager tried to convince them on their way out that the price was fair, but they didn’t listen and rushed out of the store. We were busy in choosing a pair of jeans. And a chattering noise came after few seconds. It was from the staircase. The kids were still there, engrossed in a game. It was almost 30 seconds since their parents left. We all were startled. One of the salesmen informed them that their parents had left. They were so engrossed, they didn’t respond. The parents hadn’t returned yet for their kids.

The salesman raised his voice to get their attention. The kids realized their parents had left. They descended staircase hurriedly and rushed out. Our eyebrows were raised and jaws dropped when we listened what the store manager said, ‘I hope their parents wouldn’t return if they loose them and blame us for not keeping an eye on them.’

We Know We Don’t Have Forever

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It’s suffocating to think,
About the time when you and I,
Will go on our own journeys.
We know we don’t have forever,
And we are making the most of
The time we have, undoubtedly.

I can’t imagine what will I do?
When you will no longer be with me.
You will be far away,
Living a life, struggling with different problems,
Looking at live from different perspective,
And dealing with different people.

And of course, we will not forget each other,
Keep each other in some corner of a mind.
Yes, I said mind.
Because when we will follow our separate paths,
Our hearts will be broken,
We won’t be able to keep each other over there.

The feelings we have for each other will never change.
There will be tears in my eyes,
When I will think about all those moments,
We laughed over, talked trash, and did a lot of drama.
I wonder why life doesn’t understand,
We, humans have emotions.

The crazy fact,
We have to make difficult choices,
And hope, we will land us at better places.
So let’s try to have forever in the numbered moments,
Because we both know,
When the dust will settle, we are on our own.


(Image courtesy of tuelekza at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)