She Gets Into My Head

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She gets into my head.
Whatever she does,
Whatever she feels,
Whatever she says,
Whatever her reactions are,
Whatever she is.

She gets into my head.
When she’s around,
I get distracted.
My attention is toward her.
I may do something else,
But think only about her.

She gets into my head.
Every small detail of her,
Significant or insignificant,
Likes and dislikes,
Everything matters to me,
I admire everything.

She gets into my head.
Even when she’s not around,
I recall our interactions,
Funny, deep, and emotional ones.
And feel good about it.
Like finding a reason to be distracted.

The crazy fact,
She gets into my head.
And she is travelling from there,
Through the road of feelings.
And I never knew,
When she got into my heart.

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Choose To Be A Human

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Sometimes I forget to be natural.
I try to act perfect.
I forget I can become vulnerable too.
I just have to accept what I feel.

Just be who I am.
Just throw away the mask.
Just turn on the true face.
I should not pretend I am fine.

If I’m sad, I don’t have to,
again, pretend I’m good.
If I’m happy, I don’t have to,
wonder how I can be happy?

Is there something wrong?
Is there something I missed?
No, no, no.
I don’t have to pretend to be normal.

I forget I have feelings,
It doesn’t demand perfection.
It’s natural to be imperfect.
It’s natural to be a human.

It will take time to pull myself together,
But denial to accept my vulnerabilities,
It will work against me.
People around me notice that.

But I notice that after it happened.
Then I realize I don’t have to do that.
I must accept my feelings,
Even though they make me vulnerable.

The crazy fact is,
Imperfections make us humans,
Trying to be perfect only make us robots,
We must choose to be a human.

मुझे पता है…

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मुझे पता है,
आपको सब पता है, पर बताते नहीं हो,
सब महसूस होता है, पर जताते नहीं हो,

मुझे पता है,
आप सब समझते हुए भी नासमझ रहते हो,
सबके साथ मौजूद रेहकर भी खोये खोये रहते हो,

मुझे पता है,
आप सब सुनकर भी अनसुना करते हो,
सब जानकर भी नज़रअंदाज़ करते हो,

मुझे पता है,
आपको दर्द भी होता है, रोना भी आता है,
और ये सब कुछ,
उस हँसी के पीछे छुपाना भी आता है।


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I’m Afraid To Be Happy

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I’m afraid to be happy,
Whenever I get happy,
Some strange sensations,
Frightening thoughts,
Run through my mind.

Is this really happening?
I wonder,
If it’s happening,
Is it happening with me?
I’m not able to believe.

Even if I try to believe,
I want to make sure,
That this is not a conspiracy,
Of a destiny to prepare me,
For a blow-off that may follow.

The crazy fact,
Because whenever I felt happy,
The next moment followed,
With a blow,
Some of them were unbearable.
I only wish,
Happiness stays for long this time.


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All I Needed To Do 

Seeking validation.
Demanding approval.
Hardwired brain.

Compromising ethics.
Diminishing happiness.
Anguished cry.

The crazy fact,
All I needed to do was,
Be myself.

Crazy Tale Of A King and Queen

‘Customer is king and kings never bargain’ was the first thing I noticed written on a board as we entered the store. We went for shopping today at Rasta Peth, Pune. This is going to be interesting, I thought. My brother was looking for a pair of jeans. Me and mother were helping him. I was just standing over there, pretending to help. A couple with their two kids, a girl of nine and a boy of five entered. Another guy, aged twenty something, seemed like a brother of a woman, accompanied them. They were in the store for buying a shirt for that guy. A salesman joined them.

Little siblings started running around, making noises, and their father asking them to behave themselves. Their mother was busy with her brother in choosing a good shirt. Kids refused to behave decently. So the father gave his phone to play games. Both of the kids sat on staircase. The girl was playing game and the boy was looking into phone. Then the father engaged into helping them choosing.

The guy tried two or three shirts, chose one, and her sister asked the shopkeeper for price. The shopkeeper offered 10 percent discount and refused to reduce price more than than. They were disappointed and didn’t buy anything. Store manager tried to convince them on their way out that the price was fair, but they didn’t listen and rushed out of the store. We were busy in choosing a pair of jeans. And a chattering noise came after few seconds. It was from the staircase. The kids were still there, engrossed in a game. It was almost 30 seconds since their parents left. We all were startled. One of the salesmen informed them that their parents had left. They were so engrossed, they didn’t respond. The parents hadn’t returned yet for their kids.

The salesman raised his voice to get their attention. The kids realized their parents had left. They descended staircase hurriedly and rushed out. Our eyebrows were raised and jaws dropped when we listened what the store manager said, ‘I hope their parents wouldn’t return if they loose them and blame us for not keeping an eye on them.’

We Know We Don’t Have Forever

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It’s suffocating to think,
About the time when you and I,
Will go on our own journeys.
We know we don’t have forever,
And we are making the most of
The time we have, undoubtedly.

I can’t imagine what will I do?
When you will no longer be with me.
You will be far away,
Living a life, struggling with different problems,
Looking at live from different perspective,
And dealing with different people.

And of course, we will not forget each other,
Keep each other in some corner of a mind.
Yes, I said mind.
Because when we will follow our separate paths,
Our hearts will be broken,
We won’t be able to keep each other over there.

The feelings we have for each other will never change.
There will be tears in my eyes,
When I will think about all those moments,
We laughed over, talked trash, and did a lot of drama.
I wonder why life doesn’t understand,
We, humans have emotions.

The crazy fact,
We have to make difficult choices,
And hope, we will land us at better places.
So let’s try to have forever in the numbered moments,
Because we both know,
When the dust will settle, we are on our own.


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After All The Moments We Spent Together

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After all the moments we spent together,
I wonder, whether she thinks of me every day,
Whether those moments meant anything,
And whether she remembers the kind of connection we had.

When I met her today and I looked into her eyes,
I didn’t see that excitement I used to see,
I didn’t see that care and concern she always had,
Though we used to meet every day.

All I could see in her eyes was a sense of formality,
Because I was there and she didn’t want to look mean,
She talked to me, she interacted with me,
There was no connection, no emotion.

In entire small conversation,
I was looking for that one look,
She used to have in those times,
The look that made me feel special about myself.

I was very excited to meet her,
I even thought of some special moments to reminisce,
But I have to keep everything inside,
I also pretended that everything is fine.

But it seemed, the time seemed changed everything,
The distance has changed everything.
It hurts to realize nothing was same as before.
The dimensions and equations of emotions have changed.

Yes, we tried to stay together, forever.
But at the end of the day,
We had to make some difficult choices.
We may not like those, but have to accept it.

The crazy fact,
The same way I have to accept,
That nothing remains same,
Everything changes with time and distance.


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We Also Get Hurt When We Hurt Our Loved Ones

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I apologized to her. I don’t do it usually. I always thought that she is the one who always picks up a fight with me, she complains over petty issues, and she is the one who responds arrogantly if a small misunderstanding arises. I knew I don’t deserve this kind of treatment. No one deserves it. I always hated her for being arrogant and then apologizing to me, justifying her behavior, and blaming the heat of the moment.

Whenever she talked to me that way, I retorted back in the same way. Later, she used to apologize, but I never did. And everything got back to normal. But today, it was a different situation. I talked to her arrogantly because I couldn’t keep my cool and lost control over my emotions in the heat of the moment. Yes, I understood what heat of the moment is. Everything she used to say, to which I called unreasonable, manipulation, and justification, was not what I thought it was. Though I’ve hurt her, I was hurt too. I realized I am affected when I climbed one more floor of my building, knocked the door, and saw the face of that annoying aunty who always taunts me on getting lower paying job than her son. When she welcomed me with her annoying giggle, I came to my senses. My home was on the second floor and I was on the third. Out of embarrassment I said I was their for a tea. I don’t even drink tea. But that’s what I could think of at that time.

I think I shouldn’t have hated her as much as I hated. Now I know what happens and what goes through her mind. The crazy fact is, just because we hurt our loved ones, doesn’t mean we don’t get hurt. We get affected too. And we feel horrible about it when we realize it. She knew it. So she accepted my apology like a lady, not like a baby, the way I do it.


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When You Are Smiling Alone

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I decided to go early to the office. As I arrived in the parking lot, I noticed a girl parking her vehicle in the same slot. She was wearing a yellow kurta with stripes all over it with elbow length sleeves and black leggings. I couldn’t see her face. I locked my bike and rushed to stairs. I like to climb four floors through stairs to start my day in the office. It energizes me. As I reached fourth floor and entered premises through a door, I encountered the same girl from the parking lot.

She was beautiful. As her gentle gaze fell on my eyes, I was stuck. She passed by and I realized she was the same girl I saw in cafeteria the day before. The same girl I had a crush on. I just had an unexpected encounter with my crush. What I discovered in her eyes in this unexpected encounter was something more beautiful than what I saw when her eyes met mine and I shied away. This time, it was a genuine look reflecting her genuine qualities. That innocence, that simplicity, that poise, that calmness, and that spontaneity. That gaze didn’t take my breath away, but when I realized she was the same girl from cafeteria, from parking lot, I was smiling to myself.

I was telling myself that these unexpected encounters are exhilarating. I shouldn’t expect to see her whenever I visit cafeteria. I realized the effect these unexpected encounters and eye contacts have on us. I was smiling with joy of this realization. Also blushed a little reminding myself that I just had an eye contact with my crush. The crazy fact is, that feeling, when no one knows why you are smiling and you don’t care if they think you have gone mad, is just beautiful.


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