Trust Is Beautiful

bike-2738287_960_720

Those conversations,
those comfortable silences,
and those rides.

Opening up true selves,
and sharing some funny yet weird stories,
while finding a way through traffic.

There was no judgmental attitude,
no ego, no holding back.

Even if someone knows,
the other person is talking trash,
the trash was listened carefully and attentively.
Sometimes, even responded with more trash.

The trash used to build up and at a point,
both burst out of laughter.

While riding, some moments were breathtaking,
as the crash seemed inevitable,
but somehow it didn’t happen.
Even when it was told to ride safely,
it wasn’t given much attention to.

And though it wasn’t given much attention,
the pillow rider didn’t leave in between.

Because those conversations,
happening during ride built up trust.

Trust, that no matter how roughly the person drives,
I’m reaching home safely.

Trust, that no one is going to judge,
when the other opens up.

Trust, that no one will try to rationalize,
when the other is talking trash.

And the crazy fact,
That trust made those silences during rides comfortable.

Those silences were beautiful.
Those rides were beautiful.
That comfort was beautiful.
And the trust, it’s always beautiful.

Advertisements

Unknown Corners Of Someone’s Heart

sun-heart-autumn-leaf-3937922

‘I can’t give up on her. I just can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because she opened up some corners of her heart to me that she didn’t even know existed. And I didn’t even know if I was worthy of such privilege. Yet, she did open up.’

‘How could she not know? It was her heart after all.’

‘Because her heart was wounded. She never tried to explore, never tried to heal. She just left it the way it was after the war.’

‘Did she win the war?’

‘No, she lost.’

‘If she found and opened up those corners, you never know, they might heal those wounds. She might be on the path of recovery.’

‘Maybe. And if they are, it would be great. The best thing in the world.’

‘Sounds like, you must be someone special as she chose you to open up to.’

‘No, I was an ordinary guy. Mr. Nobody. But she made me special by opening up to me. The crazy fact, what a privilege it is to explore the unknown corners of someone’s heart!’

Her Womb Promised Her

 

mom-1363917_960_720

Her father forced her to marry against her wishes. Her boyfriend promised he would come to ask for her hand, but never showed up. Her husband loved her, but she couldn’t love him back. Though she never backed off from vows she made to him during wedding. But still, she couldn’t love him the way she could.

All important men in her life contributed to her misery. She couldn’t get over attachments she had to them. Her heart always bled for each one of them.

But when she saw those gleaming eyes radiating innocence, those tiny fingers holding her finger, that cheerful smile showing two front teeth, and those chubby pink chicks, she knew, she had found a man who is rightfully hers. No power in the world can deprive her of that little marvel.

When she looked into his eyes and he looked into hers, she thought all the misery she endured and still endures is worthwhile. That little creature became the center of her life. The only wonder of the world. He was everything she thinks he was. The one man on whom she can bestow all the love she reserved in the pieces of her broken heart. The one man who will never make her feel miserable about herself. The crazy fact, her womb promised her that, each day, for nine months.

आसूओमें शरीक ना हुए तो बात क्या

people-2567617_960_720

शिकायत हमे उस मुकद्दरसे नहीं,
जो हमसे उन्हें जुदा कर गया,
शिकायत हमे उस लम्हे से है,
जो आखरी अलविदे के वक़्त थम नहीं गया |

वो मुस्कुराहटे, वो तकरारे, वो मीठी बाते,
वो यादे, दर्द देती हे जर्रे जर्रे से,
बिछडनेसे कुछ अंश निकल गया हमारे अंदरसे,
तो आजकल हम रहते है सहमे सहमे से |

आसू ना बहे, पागल ना हुए,
चंद दिनों का सफ़र सदियो की तरह ना लगे तो बात क्या,
और उन आसूओमें सदियों का सफ़र सिमट कर,
हम उसमें शरीक ना हुए तो बात क्या |

Because You Are… Irreplaceable

13567_tall

It doesn’t matter how far you go,
you are always going to be,
In my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

I think, no, I know, for sure,
you have been imbibed in my soul.
Not For a day or a year, but forever.
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

That’s why, wherever you go,
I always find you around me.
The same girl, the same innocence.
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

I have imaginary conversations with you,
I replay our conversations,
And I just smile at myself.
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

Whenever I feel like sharing something,
Something deep, something special with someone,
I think of you, and only you,
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

But you are not there,
So I keep everything inside,
And it stays there forever,
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

The crazy fact,
I don’t even share special moments,
Because the special person is gone,
I try to think of someone else, but I can’t.
Because you are… Irreplaceable.

Taken For Granted, Once Again

Hasan_Shumail

I waited. Counting each second, feeling each breath, listening every sound, and watching every thought. The stomach twisting with hunger, tears dripping with memories, and body shrinking with cold. The hope and anticipation running through every vein. Every heartbeat telling me, she will come. We were meeting after a decade. All the chaos, all the anxiety, all the turbulence, and all the thoughts, about just one thing. When will she come?

But she must had been there. An hour passed since the time we decided to meet. How could not she come on time? Wasn’t she excited to see me?

The impatience growing inside me, those memories replaying in my head, and the recollection of suffering I endured were making me restless. I thought she must have been stuck somewhere. So I started the bike and traced along the path from where she was supposed to come. My eyes craved for a glance of her and she kept them craving.

I returned to the place. I sat there for one more hour. At last, I realized, I accepted, she is not coming. I swirled the chocolate on the road, threw the gift in dustbin, and rushed to restroom to wipe away tears. I looked into the mirror. I could literally tell the difference between my tears and water splashed on my face. I had to wash four to five times. They were tears of unfairness. First, I had to endure the suffering of separation. And now, I had to endure the emptiness. Still, tears didn’t stop. How could they? The crazy fact is, I had been taken for granted. Once again.

In One Sided Love

nature-sky-sunset-man

‘Where are you going?’

‘Why do you want to know?’

‘Just tell me.’

‘I’m not telling you. Why should I?’

‘Why not? Tell me.’

‘You know, you insisting me tells me a lot about what you feel about me.’

‘Is it? Tell me then.’

‘Yeah, I will tell you. Else you’ll insist on that too.’

‘Cut the crap and tell me.’

‘You’re into me. You are insecure if I’m going to meet someone else. The way you look at me, the kind of names you have given me, and you listen to all my crap. Now, you behave like you have gained rights to know everything about me. And if I hide something from you, you can’t take it. You got to know. You become restless and restlessness leads to desperation to know what I’m hiding.’

‘Yes, that’s true.’

‘But I’m not getting one thing. If you don’t want me to hide something from you, why did you hide this from me?’

‘Because that’s what happens in one sided love. You can’t open up. I have seen that. You don’t look at me the way I look at you, you don’t give me names, and what’s happening with me matters very less to you. I know, you don’t feel the same way I feel about you. And that’s perfectly alright. I’m fortunate that you brought it up. Else I don’t know if I would have told you what I feel about you. And I couldn’t think of any better way to make this happen. The crazy fact, what a privilege it is to be in love with such person who doesn’t love you back, but make things happen for you in the most unexpected yet beautiful ways!’

She Was The One

couple-1502618_960_720

“Do you know? I was driving through a narrow lane. Then, I saw a car taking turn and approaching toward me. The lane was narrow, only to let two bikes pass. But the car was sped toward me and I didn’t know what to do. As it approached, I was getting really scared. What am I gonna do? I thought I was about to crash into it. It came closer, when we were about to bump, I went to extreme left, then shifted my handle hastily to left and avoided it from crashing into its mirror. I was an inch closer to wall. I thought I might crash into wall, but I maintained my balance till the car passed and I was safe. I don’t know who was driving the car. That lunatic, pompous jackass! He thought he was driving car means he can get away. What about me? It doesn’t matter if I am safe.”

I rested both of my elbows on the table, putting chin on palms of both hands, and looking at her.

“Are you listening? Do you understand anything? What just happened?” she said.

“No, I didn’t understand anything,” I said. “But I just understood one thing. Your voice is very unique.”

She just gave me a hard look.

“What? No reaction?” I said.

“What do you expect?” she asked.

“You know, I decided this. I knew your voice is very unique. But I thought, I won’t tell you directly. I will tell you when I’ll listen to you, but pretend I didn’t listen to you or understand a word you said. That’s why I looked at you poker faced. Then you are so high of emotions while telling a story about yourself and suddenly I drop a compliment like that to catch you off guard and surprise you. I thought, this is the part where I flirt with you and you blush. And then I pretend like nothing I said was meant to be taken that way, I was just outlining a fact. But it seems, I am very bad at it.”

She shot a hard look again and burst into laughter. Putting her hand onto her mouth, she tried to control it. I was just looking at her, embarrassed. She stopped laughing, looked at me, and again burst into laughter. There I saw. Her eyelids turned downward, her cheeks turned pink, and her laugh ending into a closed mouth smile.

“Now, you are blushing. There you are.”

“Yes, I am. But what’s wrong with you.”

I stared at her. “You know what’s wrong with me.”

We were looking at each other. That moment was the moment when I wanted the moment to stop right there. Just an eye to eye, like the eternity lost, the universe stopped, and the millenniums passed.

And there she knew what was wrong with me.

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” I asked.

“No need,” she said.

The crazy fact, that was the moment I realized, nothing was wrong with me. I was in my full senses when I fell in love. She was the one.

बड़े अरसे के बाद मिले वो

वो हमे बड़े अरसे के बाद मिले। एक दूसरे के सामने आते ही कुछ देर के लिए ना वो कुछ बोल पाए, ना हम।

हमारे बीचकी उस खामोशीको खत्म करते हुए हमने कहा –

इतनी सारी है बातें, कितने सारे है किस्से, कहासे शुरु करे कहा खत्म करे, समझ नही आता,
बिताए है इतने सारे हसीन लम्हें आपके साथ, कोनसे दोहराए कोनसे छोड़ दे, समझ नही आता।

तो उन्होंने कहा –

कुछ ना कहिए, कुछ ना दोहराइए, बस चुप बैठे रहिए।

तो हमने जवाब दिया –

किसीको चुप करानेसे या चुप बैठेनेसे, आँखोंमे आनेवाले आँसुओ को रोका नही जाता,
साथ बिताए हुए लम्होंको नजरअंदाज करके… यादोंको मिटाया नही जाता।

उस मुस्कुराहट के पीछे

smile-mouth-teeth-laugh-65665

जुदाई का ये आलम हमसे,
न जाने क्या क्या करवाएगा,
जब भी याद आएगी उनकी,
न जाने कितने आंसू रुलाएगा,

साथ बिताया हुआ हर लम्हा,
लबों पे मुस्कुराहट तो ले आएगा,
मगर उस मुस्कुराहट के पीछे,
न जाने कितने गम छुपाएगा।