When a Beautiful Lie Overshadows a Bitter Truth

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“Don’t do this to yourself! You deserve better. She is gone,” commanded Ritvik to Dushyant, banging door of Dushyant’s room. Danny and Pritam also tried to convince him to open the door.

“Leave me alone! Jussssss go,” replied Dushyant from inside his room.

Dushyant was drunk for entire two days after love of his life, Antara, left him. She left him because she was getting married as per her parents’ wishes.

Dushyant was handsome, intelligent, charming, emotional, and carefree. He was straight-forward, but not arrogant. He enjoyed solitude, but was not a loner. His good looks with well-built body flaunted his well-natured demeanor. An ideal boyfriend every girl wants to have. People had a playboy image when they saw him. But, the reality was different. Besides his good looks, loyalty was the most valuable asset of him. He was madly in love with beautiful, smart, witty, but dominating and arrogant girl, Antara. The love he bestowed upon her made her feel like a princess. She was two years older than him. They were in the same college in Varanasi.

His friends were banging the door continuously. Dushyant did not care. He was burning everything regarding their relationship to on that day with tears in his eyes. It did not make him feel better. The wildfire of pain inside his heart was scorching him than the heat of that fire. He burnt everything, but he stopped at a moment when he saw the only thing remaining to get burnt. The diary.

He looked for a moment at diary, wiped his tears, and opened the door. They abruptly went inside. Danny extinguished fire and other two inspected the room to ensure that he had done nothing wrong. All they could see was more than 10 empty bottles and a half empty bottle of alcohol, things scattered everywhere and Dushyant standing at the door with a diary in hand. They were puzzled when they noticed that he was staring in blank space.

“Just sit down,” commanded Danny.

“I wannaaaa meet her. Right nowwwww!” slammed Dushyant.

“You are out of your mind. Just sit down,” said Pritam.

“No, you are out of your mind! My life is ruined, and it will be devastated if I don’t meet her right now,” retorted Dushyant in clear voice.

“Why do you want to meet her?” asked Ritvik.

“I burnt everything, but couldn’t burn thisssss,” he replied, showing them diary, “And you all know the reason.”

* * *

Dushyant could barely stand straight. It was 10’o’clock in the night. They took him in Danny’s car to travel from Varanasi to Lucknow. Ritvik informed Antara that they were coming to her place. She refused initially, but agreed on one condition. This will be the last time she meets him. Only two days were left for her wedding day. It took them six hours to reach to her place. In those four hours, his friends did everything to make him little stable.

A cold breeze in the garden near her home was ready to witness the last meeting. She left home with her cousin sister. Dushyant and his friends were already there. Dushyant was sitting on a bench. As soon as they arrived, Ritvik gestured Danni and Pritam to leave them alone. They left him and went outside the garden. Antara asked her sister to leave them alone for some time. She agreed and joined boys outside.

Antara stared angrily at Dushyant for a while. He stared back blankly.

“What have you done to yourself?” said Antara in an anguished tone.

“Wow! The sword which gave me scars is asking me how I got these scars,” replied Dushyant.

“Why are you doing this? You know this is not possible. How many times do I have to tell you the same thing?”

“I know. This is not possible. I left all the hope. I left everything, friends, study, and family for some time. I got crazy. I used to talk to a tree about how much I loved you and how you are selfish and left me with nothing but shattered dreams. I burnt everything that reminded me I spent some moments with you. All the gifts and cards which meant nothing. But, I could not burn this.”

He showed her the diary.

“This is a diary you wrote for me. I read what’s inside. I know you expressed your feelings. But this is not enough. You have to understand. When caste, age, and honor are on the line, my parents will not consider this as worthy for allowing me to spend my life with you. Well, forget it; my wedding is in two days. So, just go. If you are trying to get me back, I am not coming with you.”

“I am not here to get you back. I am here to give you this diary. Burn it, because I can’t.”

“Give me! I’ll do it.”

“How easy it is for you to burn this! You know what, I shouldn’t have written it in those exam days. But, the thought of not meeting you again killed me and I wrote it instead of studying.”

“What are you talking about? You wrote it every day.”

“No, I didn’t. I lied to you that I was writing a diary for you. You remember you told me that I don’t get to meet you if I don’t bring this diary. And timing couldn’t be better. You demanded this when my fourth semester exams were going on. So, I went to market, bought a diary, four different pens, and started writing. I put earlier dates, used different pens, and spent four days to make it look real. My friends were telling me to study, but I didn’t. I thought I can give those exams again, but I can’t live if I lose you.”

“I didn’t know you were lying.”

“It wasn’t about lying; it was about the thought of not meeting you again. It was about the thought of losing you. It was about those genuine feelings. The dates were manipulated, but those feelings weren’t. And if you don’t understand that, it’s not worth ruining my life over you.”

He gave diary to her and left.

* * *

Next day.

Dushyant woke up hearing banging on his room’s door. He looked at cellphone for time. It was 4’o’clock in the morning. Why anyone would come to me this early, he thought. He opened the door and choked. It was Antara with diary in hand. She came to Varanasi with her cousin brother and sister without knowledge of her parents.

“What are you doing here?” asked he.

“Can I come in and explain?” replied Antara.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Who is there?” inquired Ritvik.

He woke up instantly and rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming.

“You came. Yesss! I knew you would come. I told him,” said Ritvik excitedly.

“No, I did not come back for what you are thinking. Would you please give us a moment?”

He left the room.

“I also can’t burn your diary. I know feelings you expressed in this diary are genuine. I read it once and I read it again. For one second, it made me run away from there and hug you. And, you wrote it in only four days despite your exams, because you could not imagine losing me. This was the most romantic thing anyone can do for a girl. It was a beautiful lie. Initially, I thought you were only making up for your lies, but this tells me how much you loved me. And, I loved you for every small thing you did for me. You used to come to Lucknow after i got job here after graduation. You used to meet me, stay in the hotel despite your family lives there, and leave on next day. It made me feel special. The bitter truth is, I was being so selfish. I never gave anything to this relationship. I only demanded from you. You never complained. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone better,” confessed Antara with teary eyes.

Tears rolled down from eyes of Dushyant. He wasn’t prepared for this confrontation.

“You don’t have to do anything. Just be there with me,” he replied.

“No! It’s too late now. I can’t put their reputation on the line. I can’t be selfish with parents. They gave me everything and never expected anything in return just like you. I made mistake by being selfish with you, I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I hope you understand. I am here to give you this diary. I wrote it in one day for you. I have written how I feel about you, how selfish I was and how you showered love to make my life beautiful. I am keeping your diary with me for the rest of my life and I want you to keep this diary with you.”

Dushyant took that diary.

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I have to go as soon as possible. If my father will be furious if they find me out I am not in my room on a day before my wedding. I’m so sorry and thank you for all those beautiful moments. You are a great person. You will find someone who loves you. Goodbye!”

She kissed him on chick and left. Dushyant cried bitterly after she left.

He never tried to contact her. He used to read that diary under the same tree he used to talk to. In the end, he won her heart though he lost her love.

The crazy fact is, a beautiful lie overshadows a bitter truth.


 

(Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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The First Times

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The first times are always special.
The time when we made an eye contact.
The first time we fell in love.
The first time when we met.
The first time we fought on silly reason.
The first time we apologized to each other.
The first time we laughed together on silly jokes.
The first time we walked on beach silently.
The first time we hugged.
The time when we looked into each others’ eyes.
The first time we realized we are made for each other.
The first time…
The most crazy of all..


(Image courtesy of usamedeniz at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

RUNNING A BUSINESS: SHARING AN EXPERIENCE DAY1

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I have just started a consulting business to solve people’s problems from their smiles. For the promotions of idea and how it will help them solve their problems in life, I decided that I’ll go to various colleges to target youth. First college was Modern College of Arts, Science & Commerce, Pune. I am sharing the experience and what I learnt from FIRST DAY of promotional campaigning.

On first day, I went to principal’s office to get permission to campaign in their campus. But he was busy, so peon asked me to go to vice-principal’s office. I asked for it and as I started explaining how it will help their students, he asked me, ‘which college do you represent?’ I said that I don’t represent any college. He said we don’t give permission to random people. I left. I planned a lot of things, how I was going to approach, what to say, what to show, and many more. And I also decided that I am not going to lie about anything. But now, what to do? I thought that students did not know whether I had permission or not, they were just going to listen what I had to say. So I decided that I am going to approach people in their campus by breaking the rules. I also saw a board stating that outsiders are not allowed in college premises, if found, strict action will be taken. But I decided whatever may happen, let’s have fun. I had file in which everything had explained, a page on which a story was written about how I found my purpose and a sketch to draw patterns of smile found in people to explain them about themselves. I was wearing formal dress and formal shoes.

I had everything required to start a discussion. I made up my mind to break the rules. But… As I was going to discuss something they do not know even exist, the overwhelming feeling of fear to show up, to expose myself, to express myself was so high. Even though I had everything with me to show them, but I was only walking back and forth in corridor. I couldn’t gather courage to show up. For that moment, I was nervous, uncomfortable, sweating, throbbing in chest, I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, everything was ready, but fear. I thought that breaking the rules were making me nervous, but it was an excuse. Who was going to know whether I was a stranger or college student? That wasn’t the reason. Then I thought that this was not the right platform to promote, no one will show interest, nobody had done it, and it’s new thing. All the excuses were coming into my mind. I thought that what was I thinking? Those were all excuses.

Then all the quotes about fear and getting out of comfort zone came into my mind. What you want is on the other side of fear, magic starts at the end of your comfort zone, you miss 100% of shots you didn’t take, do what’s uncomfortable and you will grow, and many others. But I thought that tomorrow, I will make mind that no matter what will happens I will approach, I will show up. Again, that was excuse. For half an hour, I was walking back and forth with these thoughts in my mind.

Then I took out files and pages of story. I was looking at them and thought, when I didn’t have this, I was hoping, wishing for this. But now I have this and I am holding myself back. I saw a group of four girls sitting in a campus and just started walking towards them, same fear, uncomfortable, just walking. When I reached, they looked me like a salesman who was going to force them to buy my product, only because I was wearing formal clothes. Their faces were irritated. My first impression sucked. With fake smile, I introduced myself, in English. Errr.. Their faces were more annoyed. I asked them for their two minutes and have a look at file. They even hesitated to take those files in hand. But they took it. I forgot everything I planned, what I was going to say, how I was going to make them take interest in idea, I started saying what was there in file, in low tone, in lower confidence, and they were reluctant to make eye contact. They were going through file just because wishing for last page to come soon and I will disappear. I was speaking in English, their heads into files, no enthusiasm in me, they were listening to me for formality. The funniest part, guys sitting next to them, but of different group was also looking at me, and one of them was winking at me, raising eyebrows, asking what’s going on, the guy-guy connection(when a guy approaches a girl, the another guy is more excited). I was telling them by blinking eyes that I’ll get back to them. I didn’t understand whether to laugh or what? In meantime, one of the girls whispered something in Marathi, I couldn’t hear it, but I understood that it was Marathi. Then, I realized that why they were not connecting with me. I started speaking in Marathi. For the first time, after introduction, they looked at me. They felt connected. As I explained everything in Marathi, they were nodding, giving response. The file finished.

Then I said to one of the girl, right now, I’ll tell about you from your smile to give you an idea of how I do. Then she became uncomfortable, she said no, not now. She was laughing, but that time I realized that I should not be the one who should fear about getting exposed. The people whom I am going to approach should fear that if I say something different about them, something weird about them, it’s them who should be worried about. She was reluctant that she wasn’t interested in knowing about her. So I gave them a page of story with contact details on it and asked them to call whenever they need me. Forget about buying my services, they were not ready to know how it works. I left. But I thank them for listening to me.

Then, it was the time for the guys sitting next to them, who were bantering on me, when I was talking to girls. They were ready to listen what I had to offer. This time, I started in Marathi. I was more relaxed, less anxiety on my face. I observed them and knew in which language they will understand (not Marathi or English, but the rowdy Marathi language). I started explaining in their tone, they felt connected, nodding, giving reactions, didn’t understand everything, but trying to. I again explained file only, no strategy executed as per the preparation, but enough to convey my idea. File finished. Then I said to a guy that I’ll tell you about you from your smile. He agreed. Everyone was listening. I drew patterns on page and started explaining everything. I gave examples with reference to who they were and in their tone. (like in rowdy Marathi, samaz tula wadaa-pav khayalaa jaychayy… I couldn’t say ‘for coffee’, they will not feel connected). So as I was explaining them in their way, everyone was surprised. They were smiling in shock, saying yes, yeah.. when I said something that relates to his nature. I said everything I had to say about him and gave him the page. Another guy stood up and said, tell me about myself. I said sure. But their friend came to them and informed them that they got to go. And everybody stood up and said, ‘we gotta go.’ I shook hand with everyone, they told me their names and said nice to meet you, I asked them to contact me on the details I gave on that page and they rushed. Looking at their appearance and body language, I thought they will make fun of me, ridicule me as they were sitting in a group, but they listened to me patiently, earnestly and treated me with respect. I came to know they were not going to buy, but I thank them for listening to me and showing interest.

I got more relaxed. I was thirsty. As I opened zip of bag to take the bottle out and looked back. A teacher in a suit was scolding a student. He was complaining that how many times they had to inform college students not to bring outsiders in the campus. I was little scared, but glad that he wasn’t referring to me. And security guard came and ordered every student in campus to go out of the gate. I thought that I just got momentum and on next second, everything finished, I had to pack up. Everyone was out of the gate. I looked around, thought I can’t approach them on streets, what impression I am going to make, and will they listen to me? Again the same thoughts of that half hour came into my mind. This time, I couldn’t gather courage to approach students on street-side. I contemplated a lot, but couldn’t. Day1 was over for me after first 20 minutes only. I could interact with 10 students only who were not potential buyers. But lot of thing I learnt from that experience that I am going to improve on the next day.

I am sharing some insights that would help you in your endevour to design the best life for yourself:

1. Know with whom you are interacting and Speak Their Language.

2.Talk more about how it will benefit them and what they are concerned about than what it is actaully or technically.

3. Appearance matters, but target audience matters more. We have to look like one of them to connect with them.

4. If it is certain that we miss 100% of the shots we didn’t take, why not to take a shot, take a chance.

5. Our competancy, preparation, passion and all on one hand, they are important. But if we don’t have that one quality on the other hand, it’s all usslasss.. That quality is Courage To Show Up.

6. The crazy fact is, there only one step to aquire that quality : JUST GO & DO IT. There were no any other ways or steps I could find.

In next post, I’ll share experience of DAY2.

Thanks for reading. Add your own lessons and express your views if I missed anything, give your feedback to improve..

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(Image courtesy of nokhoog_buchachon at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Erroneous Expectations

At college X.

Father: We would like to take admission in your esteemed college through management quota for my son. Whatever the charges, we are ready to pay.

Management quota is a quota in which some percentage of seats are reserved for those who want to take admission through donations, without following the standard procedure. Paid admissions.

X College Representative: Sorry, sir! We don’t have seats, admissions are full.

Immediately drove to next college, college Y.

Father: We would like to take admission in your esteemed college through management quota for my son. Whatever the charges, we are ready to pay.

Y College Representative: Sorry, sir! We don’t have seats, admissions are full.

Immediately drove to next college, college Z.

Father: We would like to take admission in your esteemed college through management quota for my son. Whatever the charges, we are ready to pay.

Z College Representative: The charges are 6 lakhs Rupees. Come tomorrow with your son’s documents & demand draft. Admission will be confirmed.

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Father: No problem, just reserve the seat.

Z College Representative: Consider it done.

The crazy fact is, still they expect their child to study hard for his bright future.

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{Image courtesy of  anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net}

Being Unreasonable

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“Hey, what are you doing here? What’s going on?” asked Ritesh to his school friend Rahul, seeing after 5 years in a college which he assumed Rahul had no connection with.

“Ohh.. Look at you, jerk! You have so changed. How are you?” replied Rahul excitedly neglecting what he asked.

“I’m Good. Good to see you after 10th. You tell me what are you doing here?”

“I just came here to see this college. It’s a well known college of city. So I wanted to see the campus, students, library & other infrastructure. Wait.. wait.. You were in this college for 11th & 12th. Then what are you doing here right now?”

“What can I say? I’m here to apply for 12th exam as an external.”

“What? How is that possible?”

“I don’t feel like studying, yaar! It’s so boring. I had given 12th exams 4 times, still one subject is not cleared. After 4 attempts, I joined diploma & left 12th. Right now, I cleared 2nd year of diploma, but due to first year backlog I am not eligible for 3rd year. So, I came here to apply for 12th externally & give paper of diploma simultaneously.”

“Dude, why did this happen? Are you interested in some other stream or what? Or some girl broke your heart so you are distracted & not taking yourself seriously?”

Both laughed.

“No! Nothing like that. It’s lack of interest in study. What about you?”

“I am waiting for final semester result of B. Sc. Then going to opt for masters degree.”

“Yeah, you have always been good in studies.”

“Forget about me. You tell me what happened to you, dude. If you are not interested in studies, then what interests you? What is that you want to do by yourself?”

“Nothing, yaar. It’s just I don’t want to study.”

Ritesh was reluctant to open up.

“That’s fine. Then what you want to do? For what you are obsessed?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, you can tell me.”

“Leave it nah.. Tell me have you met one of our friends? What are they doing?”

“It’s not about them, right now. Tell me about yourself. Don’t change the topic.”

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“Nothing, yaar. I’m obsessed with using everything branded. All branded accessories. See my shirt, Lou-i Phili-pi, my watch, Tag Ho-yer, my jeans, Levi’s, my shoes, Puma. Because of this, I didn’t study.”

“Bullshit. You can’t even pronounce the brand names correctly & saying you’re obsessed for them. It’s Louis Philippe & Tag Heuer. You liar!”

Again, both laughed.

“So what? I can’t pronounce brand names correctly. I know being good in studies doesn’t prove anything, but are you doing something which you love doing.”

“No! I only like razzle-dazzle & fun. You drink?”

“Stop running your dirty mouth! You wanna tell or I should go?”

“Tell me directly that you are getting late to meet girlfriend. So you want to go.”

“Again!”

“You tell me now, these actors, actresses have anything to do with these marks & merits? Then also they are leading lavish lives, cars, fame, fan following, everything.”

“Yes, they do not have anything to do with it.”

“Then why is it important to us?”

“Yeah, they do not prove anything. But why are you asking me about actors & actresses. Oh.. wait! wait! You want to become an actor?”

“Hmm..”

“Wow! Then what’s the problem? Join an acting school, if not possible meet an actor & ask him to train you, teach you basics, start working in dramas. Have you told your parents about it?”

“No. They will say that you can’t clear 12th exam & how are you going to act in films, you are skinny & you have no godfather & all. Do you think I can act?”

“What you think you can act?”

“Yes, I’m confident about myself.”

“Then go for it. I know you are & you were the ugliest guy in school, but it is not the matter. You’re confident about yourself. And not every actor in the industry is handsome, your talent is going to count.”

“Yeah, I know I’m ugly, but my talent will leap over it. But..”

“I’m so sorry, but I have to go. I’m feeling so bad that we can’t talk about it more right now about your interesting thing. I got call from home. We will talk about it again. Do not give up on what you want to do. Bye!”

The crazy fact is, each & everyone of us wants to live a dream, unreasonable to society, but very reasonable to ourselves.

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(Image courtesy of  Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Ohh No!! I Can’t Say Adios..

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And the call for job interview came.  I passed the aptitude test. But the bitter thing was that it was on the same day as the farewell party of college. In the morning there was a project competition & in the afternoon- farewell party.

I had to choose one. Actually I had no option than going for an interview. I was baffled by the fact that should I be happy for selection or sad by not being there. As I had to go for an interview.

The interview didn’t go well. The reason was not the attention towards farewell, but lack of clarity of purpose for applying for job. I could not made it to next round. But I wasn’t more upset about it, but missing the last moments with my friends.

I had fun when my friend recalled the joy which he had & I felt so bad that I missed it as well as the job.

I missed the whistles blowing in front of our stubborn & strict disciplined head of department. I missed the weirdest award distribution which included categories like Mango Man, Lady Dabangg, Cuttie Pie which was awarded to a male & chanting of different names whenever each category was announced.

Every moment I wanted to accumulate in my heart. The last moments in classroom was more precious than any other regular class. The hooting of the name of guy’s crush in front of teachers, everyone in a state of delirium, no worries of future, only cherishing the present, I really missed that.

The most favorite part I missed – They gave a long white cloth to express ourselves, so that when we will not be there, they will cherish our memories we posted there. I wanted to write many things over there, but they are now inside only.

The crazy fact is, it is easy to read the quotes about ‘sacrifice’, but when it comes to actually doing it, the pain of losing one thing for another is inevitable.

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(Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Share Your Stories about Sacrifice you’ve done & missed something that you cannot retain..