What’s Inside Wasn’t Alive When It Was Light

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“I don’t know what’s going on in my life,” said a frustrated boy to monk.

“What is the matter?” asked monk.

“I think I’ve lost control over my life. I can’t do what I want to do, can’t express myself, I think I’m wasting my time, over-thinking about small things, just passing the days, not doing something that would add value to my life as well as others’ lives. I’m being someone else to show others that I’m happy, but I’m not.”

“How did you get to this point?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me, how do you spend your day?”

“I wake up at 7. Go to gym because my father wants me to. Till 8, I exercise. Then, get ready for a class at 9, which my parents wanted me to join. Till 12, I spend the time in class somehow. Till 1, I’m home. Till 4, I have lunch, play games on computer, and do some reading. From 4 to 6, I sleep. From 6 to 8, I spend time on computer again. At 8 to 10, I read or study. At 10, I have dinner and then watch TV and go to sleep.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“From past 2 months, since I finished college. I wanted to do something else. But my parents, my friends are not convinced that would work, so I am not doing it. Or sometimes, I do that. But, I can’t do that wholeheartedly.”

“Why don’t you do that? There will always be some people who don’t agree with you. It does not mean you should give in.”

“But..”

“First of all, you must accept full responsibility for what’s happening to you. You are responsible.”

“Yes, you are right. I know that. But..”

“What did you do when you were in college? Why didn’t you work on it, so till this time, you would have had something in hand as an output to back up your intentions. You give in to comforts and fun. And it has become your habit. You don’t want to do what’s difficult. You find an easy way out. You got to do what necessary and difficult. Otherwise things won’t change. It will get darker and darker for you.”

“But it’s uncomfortable.”

“Do it anyway. When it gets dark, everything ceases and the only thing that remains alive is: what’s inside. But the crazy fact is, it gets dark, because what’s inside wasn’t alive when it was light.”

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(Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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It’s Dark

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It’s dark when you don’t know

What to write, what’s going on in your mind

It’s dark when you feel depressed

In safety, desires uncertainty

It’s dark when you realize

The day will take too much time to get over

It’s dark when you want this moment to pass faster

But realize time won’t run faster for you

It’s dark when you realize that

You can’t play the odds and

Don’t want to play the man

It’s dark when you realize that emotions

Which were your weapons

Are now holding you back

It’s dark when you are made

To believe what you contradicted

It’s dark when you know you are

Compromising yourself and

Those compromises are not worth suffering for

It’s dark when you come to know what

You built over the period of time

Has been vanished in a blink of an eye

And the crazy fact, it’s too dark

When you realize that you have to

Live upon hope, not in faith

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(Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)