Who Left That Window Ajar

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I don’t know who left that window ajar. I stepped into his room to gather his clothes, but my gaze diverted toward the rays of sunlight infiltrating into the room. I opened the window and peered into the sky. A tint of yellow and blue spread across it. A cool breeze of the evening caressed my body. A kid is chasing another kid on the street ecstatically​, both of them filled with delight.

Everything is supposed to make me feel blithesome. No, it failed. When this heavy heart has to drift an unfathomable sorrow for the rest of the life and all attempts to run toward gayety go in vain, the turbulent riot inside becomes unstoppable, sometimes unbearable. Who can obliterate his fond, bitter memories? I remember my tumultuous wail of pain howling inside these four walls a year ago on the same day. 

My life ceased at that moment when I realized the blood won’t circulate anymore into his veins, he won’t respond to my call, he won’t see anything, and his heart won’t beat anymore. He was 27. That appealing call from a stranger that night gave me ineffable sensations​. I rushed to the hospital and doctor conveyed that the fate deprived me of the best person in the world.

Everyone reassured that my life isn’t over. I can’t change what happened, but I must not lose hope. I think he wants the same. That’s why he left this window ajar. So he could say hi to me through this breeze and instill a ray of hope through these rays entering through the slit. These clothes absorbed all the love he had and now they are permeating it in the air I am breathing into. I can try to convince myself all I want. The crazy fact is, two people demised that day. A son and… a mother.

The Twist Of The Fate

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Her supercilious demeanor, impenetrable eyes, quick wit, and bewitching countenance bore an aura of a girl whose loftiness would put the place on fire if evoked. She was the girl whom no one dared to mess with. I knew my reticent, tight-lipped behavior would complement hers. I extemporized my feelings when I approached her. I quavered a little, but she clearly heard my subdued impassioned murmur. I guess it was because a warmth flowed through my speech. The vague expression was comprehensible to her through my incomprehensible words. But her sharp gaze was dawned on me as if it was preparing itself to tear up my heart.

Finally, I muttered last words, ‘Will you go on a date with me?’

I alerted my cheeks to hold weight of tears as her gaze sharpened. My obscure expression made no impact than offending her, it seemed. But I was wrong. She said yes. I was hit by a thunderbolt with her assent.

I asked her, this time articulating my thoughts. ‘Why did you agree? I wasn’t even confident, or expressive. And for a girl of your caliber, I don’t stand a chance. Then why?’

She replied in a courteous, yet confident manner, ‘For the same reason you approached me. You have a tender curiosity to know how I became who I am today. Similarly, you have your side of story too. I want to know what made you an inarticulate, lowly person. Circumstances, experiences, to summarize, stories shape the character of a person. I want to know your story.’

Then she promised to meet me and I looked at her stone-faced as she walked away.

The crazy fact is, the fate takes twists when we take chances.

Meeting First Love Again

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‘Hey, Anvita,’ I said after gathering so much courage to talk to her.

She turned around.

‘Yes?’ Her eyebrows narrowed. ‘How do you know my name?’

‘People don’t forget the name of their first love.’

‘I was your first love?’

‘Yes. It’s obvious you don’t remember me. I never approached you. I was in fifth standard. I used to pass through your building four to five times every day on bicycle to have a glance of yours. It has been 14 years since the day you shifted. I remember that evening. You were wearing a yellow frock with black dots all over it.’ Her eyebrows raised, eyes widened, and corners of lips stretched into a slight smile. ‘The tempo loaded. And you all left. I thought I was seeing you for the last time. Turns out, I was wrong.’

‘Yes. I still have that dress with me. Yellow is my favorite color. I never throw away yellow colored clothes. You seem to tell the truth.’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘Good to know that. And nice to meet you. Bye.’

As she turned around, I called her.

‘Hey.’ She turned around, her gaze, inquisitive. ‘Is there any chance I get to know you better?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Please. People don’t get to meet their first love again in their lives. I’m lucky. And I will consider myself the luckiest guy in the world if I get to know you.’

‘You’re right. But I’m afraid it’s not possible. I’m committed.’

‘Ohh..’

‘Yes, sorry.’

‘No problem. It’s good to talk to you.’

‘Same here.’

And she left.

I don’t know if I should be disappointed or happy to see her. I guess I should be happy to get to see her and there is nothing to be disappointed about. The crazy fact is, it is better to gather a little courage in the moment than be in a dilemma forever.


(Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Smile Tops It All

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“How was it?” said she, the restaurant owner, with a charming smile when I went up to counter to pay bill.

I was surprised at first. I never thought she would ask for feedback.

“It was bad.” I said. “We wanted to have cold coffee and it tasted like Bournvita. I finished for the sake of finishing.” I handed over cash. “Everything is good, the ambience of cafe, service, and presentation. Looks like you worked on everything in detail. But the core of any restaurant.. Taste. Sorry to say, it failed at it.”

“We are sorry it didn’t live up to your expectations.” Disappointment was visible on her face as she returned change. “We’ll work on it. We’d be glad if you visit after some days. Anything else you would like to add?”

“Oh, I forgot to mention. You have a beautiful smile.”

Her eyes widened a little and then her face sparkled with a smile, “Thank you.”

“Welcome.”

I turned around. I was thinking and blushing on my way out. The crazy fact is, I may not visit again to know if the taste changed, but I will definitely return to see that smile.

We Believe In Same Thing, Simplicity.

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‘Hello, you are Gauri, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘I need your two minutes. You know, we believe in same thing, simplicity. So I’m going to keep it simple. A lot of guys in my office are talking about you. She is cute, she is cute. Yes, you are cute. Then I checked your Facebook profile. I found that you are passionate about belly dancing. And it intrigued me. I like people who are passionate about something. I’m a writer. I work as a writer here. I also love to write poetry, short stories, shayri, and reading books. So I was saying, I would definitely like to get to know you better. Tell me if it is possible.’

‘Sorry, I’m afraid it’s not. I can’t give you my time.’

‘Cool. Nice to talk to you.’

‘Same here.’

As she turned away, I called her. ‘One more thing. I admire your dance teacher, Aliza. She is an inspirational woman. Tell her a random guy said that.’

I turned around and she called me. ‘You’re wrong.’

‘About what?’ I said.

‘About one thing in common. We have two things in common. I also think she is an inspirational woman.’

‘Yeah, of course.’

‘And I’ll tell her my friend said that.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’

‘But don’t tell her I stalked her on Facebook too.’

‘I will, if you don’t accept my friend request by today.’

The crazy fact is, simplicity posses enormous power, but beliefs posses power to make impossible possible.


(Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Materialistic World

“Hey, how are you?” Sukriti greeted Nakul with an utmost affection.
“I’m good,” replied he in a usual tone as he got off his bike in the college parking. While locking his helmet, he asked about her and checked whether he handle-locked his 100cc bike. Her smile glistened as he looked at her.
She was content as he asked about her well-being. But she replied adorably, “I’m good too.”
Sukriti admired him for his simplicity, sincerity, and integrity. She was in love with him, but never told him. An introvert nature, feeling of not being good-enough, and average looks resulted in a low esteem in her. Though she was eloquent and articulate about how she feels, but when it came to Nakul, it was different. The admiration and confrontation to genuine feelings prevented her from expressing love for him. Nakul was so conservative, quiet, and emotional. Whenever he complimented her, she expressed her gratitude through blushing only.
“Look who is looking ravishing today?” Nakul said as he stepped outside the parking lane and noticed her black kurta and red leggings. An embroidered border on Chinese collar and plain black color dispered all over kurta magnified her beauty.
She blushed, but to hide her genuine feelings, she replied noticing his white shirt, “Guess how many girls will have a crush on the dude in white?”
“Stop flattering me. A ‘thank you’ would have been enough.”
Nakul was aware of her admiration, but he avoided having that uncomfortable conversation about her feelings for him. He was in love with Parul. A beautiful, witty, and charming Parul always emphasized on the fact that she has a taste. Knowing Parul’s way of thinking and her entire demeanor, he knew she was out of his league. But he was ready to love her with every bit of his heart. She never showed any love interest in Nakul. Every day, he thought of different ways to impress Parul with his witty talks, his very few funny experiences, and helping her in every way possible. One thing he knew he will never be able to do is lure her with cool gadgets, bike, and all the materialistic things which she defined as her taste. Nakul, being a simple guy without a smartphone, or cool looks, and having a bike with good fuel economy only dreamed for a long ride with Parul on his bike. He lived in a hope that his love will change her. But till now, all his attempts to form an emotional bonding were in vain.
As they reached cafeteria, all of their friends were already there including Parul. They greeted everyone. Their friends showered compliments over Sukriti, while Nakul was interested in Parul’s reaction on his shirt. She didn’t seem to notice. She greeted him and got busy in her phone. Though he was disappointed, he behaved normally. The disappointment in his eyes was evident to Sukriti. As they finished breakfast and usual chatting, they moved toward classes. Nakul was walking alone, behind everyone else to prevent his feelings from bursting if he gets into a conversation with anyone. He didn’t tell anyone about his crush. As Sukriti noticed him walking alone and his pitiful face, she approached him.
“Hey, what happened?” asked she.
“Nothing,” said he.
“I know you’re pretending that you are normal and also trying to avoid expression of your honest feelings. So why don’t you spit out what really is the matter and we’ll find what we can do about it?”
“If you could figure that out, then I guess you also figured out that I have a crush on Parul. And I don’t know how to impress her. She is way out of my league.”
“Yes, you’re right. I know. But I’m not able to figure out why do you need to impress her? Just be who you are. No need to change yourself in trying to be good enough for her.”
“You are not getting my point. She won’t date a guy like me.”
“No, you are not getting my point. You don’t have to make you feel inferior because a girl has high materialistic expectations for her boyfriend. You don’t have to try to fit into her expectations.”
“Yeah, I hate to admit this. The world respects people with high materialistic belongings. But she is the one who does that. So the only way to impress her is to show that I can get to that level.”
“Really? I think you are also one of them who respect materialistic belongings. You were not, but you are becoming one of them with thoughts like this.”
“I know. But what can I do now? I’m not about to get it out my head. I’ve taken a step in the direction I’m not able to get back.”
“You will. Because this isn’t love. It’s infatuation. It comes and goes.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know what love is. And you’ll know when you will be in love.”
“I think I’m in love.”
“No, you’re not. You won’t need to change yourself when you are in love. You accept your love as the way they are and also yourself as the way you are. This materialism doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
“If you think it does, then you are devaluing yourself. You are overlooking the fact that you are special and you are disguising your true self in chasing oasis of materialism. You are overlooking the fact that you swum for eight straight hours in Bay of Bengal. You are national swimming champion. You have endurance of a marathon runner, and above all, you have a kind heart. You are enough, you don’t have to focus on showing off you are capable enough. You should be proud of it.”
“Ohh, I could never think of this. I never looked at myself in this way. Thanks for showing me this. How stupid I was to compromise who I am.”
“It’s fine. You don’t have to go hard on yourself.”
“Yes, you are right. But I want to know, how do you know what the love is?”
“Just the way I know we have reached the class.”
“This is not done.”
“We’re done here. Time for studies.”
“But you won’t escape from this after the class.”
“We’ll see that.”
And they entered the class.
The crazy fact is, an endeavor to fulfill the materialistic expectations set by the world sinks the true value of a person.

Mine Is Also Broken

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He stopped on his way to home from office as he saw her outside his office building. She could see a disappointing expression on his face, but pretended that everything was fine between them. He continues walking; neglecting her with his face indicating a rift that cannot be fixed.
“Is that how you treat your acquaintances? Don’t they teach you manners in here?” said she, playfully. He stopped.
“Is that how you break someone’s heart?” said he, without looking at her. Sumit was an IT professional, in his mid twenties, and chose to walk 10 kilometers every day from office to home as a punishment after heartbreak.
“How about, hi Ayushi, how are you? And then we can talk about that?” said she, a cheerful, vivacious, and articulate girl. They were in a relationship for eight years. This was the first they were meeting after the marriage of Ayushi.
“You broke my heart and there is nothing else to talk about. Then why are you here?”
“I’m here to talk to you to make you realize that just because I broke your heart doesn’t mean mine is not broken.”

***

They strolled up to a kilometer. Sumit was still hesitant to talk, while Ayushi was trying to cheer him up to talk in an attempt to make him forgive her.
“Let’s be adults now and talk about what happened and how it happened, so you will stop giving yourself this senseless punishment,” said she.
“I don’t know why people think this is senseless, like they did all the meaningful things in their lives,” replied he. The sarcasm hurt her. But she knew there was a lot more coming on her way.
“Let me tell you something. I take full responsibility of what happened. But please listen to me. I’m asking you to be a guy who always understood me in a way no one else did.”
“Why? Are you the same caring girl who always cared about my feelings? And taking full responsibility after what happened, doesn’t change anything.”
“But opening about how you feel does.”
“Let’s do that. I’m ready to open up and tell you how I feel.”
He paused for a moment. Ayushi was excited to hear what he had to say.
He said, “I feel you are wearing nice shoes. But looking at those, I don’t think you can walk into it for 10 kilometers, so why don’t you just stop, leave me alone, and get along with your life?”
“Thanks. And how about you getting into those shoes? Forget about walking next 10 kilometers, you will get an idea of how I have walked till now.”
He halted, gazed at her, and said, “Okay, I’m listening.”
***

She told her about the emotional roller coaster ride she went through and not involving him in the process because of her father’s threats. Acquainted with her father’s capabilities, she knew her father didn’t make any empty threats. She told Sumit that she took the decision to go against her wishes only to protect him. He didn’t buy it. But he also forgot that he was also responsible equally for not coming forward. Though Ayushi didn’t allow him to confront her father, he had to take a chance. After all, she was his life. But he was into the periphery of blaming her that he could not see a mirror. And she was not aware of any mirror because the lack of confrontation was out of integrity of their relationship.
***

“You told me your side of story. Now, let me tell you, I’m not mad at you anymore. Whatever happened was not entirely your fault. I’m equally responsible for it. I should have confronted your father. I know your father and I also know why were you stopping me. It would have been my privilege to die for you. I should’ve died once, because it’s better than dying every day,” admitted Sumit. Tears dripped down from Ayushi’s eyes.
“Don’t say that,” said Ayushi, trying to take blame on herself.
“Ayushi, wake up,” aroused her husband. “I’m sorry. Last night, I was way off the line. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m ready to apologize and I’ll make up for that. How about shopping and then lunch at your favorite place?”
It took a moment to figure out that it was a dream and yet Sumit had not forgiven her.
“I know it hurt you so much that you can’t stop thinking about it in your sleep. I know I’ve hurt you. Please forgive me,” said her husband.
“It’s fine,” said Ayushi. Her husband hugged and thanked her. Her mother-in-law called them for breakfast from kitchen.
After two years of marriage, she was still seeking forgiveness from Sumit. The crazy fact is, she had to go through another day in which she had to choose what she had with them over she might have had with Sumit.


(Image courtesy of smarnad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)