When a Beautiful Lie Overshadows a Bitter Truth

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“Don’t do this to yourself! You deserve better. She is gone,” commanded Ritvik to Dushyant, banging door of Dushyant’s room. Danny and Pritam also tried to convince him to open the door.

“Leave me alone! Jussssss go,” replied Dushyant from inside his room.

Dushyant was drunk for entire two days after love of his life, Antara, left him. She left him because she was getting married as per her parents’ wishes.

Dushyant was handsome, intelligent, charming, emotional, and carefree. He was straight-forward, but not arrogant. He enjoyed solitude, but was not a loner. His good looks with well-built body flaunted his well-natured demeanor. An ideal boyfriend every girl wants to have. People had a playboy image when they saw him. But, the reality was different. Besides his good looks, loyalty was the most valuable asset of him. He was madly in love with beautiful, smart, witty, but dominating and arrogant girl, Antara. The love he bestowed upon her made her feel like a princess. She was two years older than him. They were in the same college in Varanasi.

His friends were banging the door continuously. Dushyant did not care. He was burning everything regarding their relationship to on that day with tears in his eyes. It did not make him feel better. The wildfire of pain inside his heart was scorching him than the heat of that fire. He burnt everything, but he stopped at a moment when he saw the only thing remaining to get burnt. The diary.

He looked for a moment at diary, wiped his tears, and opened the door. They abruptly went inside. Danny extinguished fire and other two inspected the room to ensure that he had done nothing wrong. All they could see was more than 10 empty bottles and a half empty bottle of alcohol, things scattered everywhere and Dushyant standing at the door with a diary in hand. They were puzzled when they noticed that he was staring in blank space.

“Just sit down,” commanded Danny.

“I wannaaaa meet her. Right nowwwww!” slammed Dushyant.

“You are out of your mind. Just sit down,” said Pritam.

“No, you are out of your mind! My life is ruined, and it will be devastated if I don’t meet her right now,” retorted Dushyant in clear voice.

“Why do you want to meet her?” asked Ritvik.

“I burnt everything, but couldn’t burn thisssss,” he replied, showing them diary, “And you all know the reason.”

* * *

Dushyant could barely stand straight. It was 10’o’clock in the night. They took him in Danny’s car to travel from Varanasi to Lucknow. Ritvik informed Antara that they were coming to her place. She refused initially, but agreed on one condition. This will be the last time she meets him. Only two days were left for her wedding day. It took them six hours to reach to her place. In those four hours, his friends did everything to make him little stable.

A cold breeze in the garden near her home was ready to witness the last meeting. She left home with her cousin sister. Dushyant and his friends were already there. Dushyant was sitting on a bench. As soon as they arrived, Ritvik gestured Danni and Pritam to leave them alone. They left him and went outside the garden. Antara asked her sister to leave them alone for some time. She agreed and joined boys outside.

Antara stared angrily at Dushyant for a while. He stared back blankly.

“What have you done to yourself?” said Antara in an anguished tone.

“Wow! The sword which gave me scars is asking me how I got these scars,” replied Dushyant.

“Why are you doing this? You know this is not possible. How many times do I have to tell you the same thing?”

“I know. This is not possible. I left all the hope. I left everything, friends, study, and family for some time. I got crazy. I used to talk to a tree about how much I loved you and how you are selfish and left me with nothing but shattered dreams. I burnt everything that reminded me I spent some moments with you. All the gifts and cards which meant nothing. But, I could not burn this.”

He showed her the diary.

“This is a diary you wrote for me. I read what’s inside. I know you expressed your feelings. But this is not enough. You have to understand. When caste, age, and honor are on the line, my parents will not consider this as worthy for allowing me to spend my life with you. Well, forget it; my wedding is in two days. So, just go. If you are trying to get me back, I am not coming with you.”

“I am not here to get you back. I am here to give you this diary. Burn it, because I can’t.”

“Give me! I’ll do it.”

“How easy it is for you to burn this! You know what, I shouldn’t have written it in those exam days. But, the thought of not meeting you again killed me and I wrote it instead of studying.”

“What are you talking about? You wrote it every day.”

“No, I didn’t. I lied to you that I was writing a diary for you. You remember you told me that I don’t get to meet you if I don’t bring this diary. And timing couldn’t be better. You demanded this when my fourth semester exams were going on. So, I went to market, bought a diary, four different pens, and started writing. I put earlier dates, used different pens, and spent four days to make it look real. My friends were telling me to study, but I didn’t. I thought I can give those exams again, but I can’t live if I lose you.”

“I didn’t know you were lying.”

“It wasn’t about lying; it was about the thought of not meeting you again. It was about the thought of losing you. It was about those genuine feelings. The dates were manipulated, but those feelings weren’t. And if you don’t understand that, it’s not worth ruining my life over you.”

He gave diary to her and left.

* * *

Next day.

Dushyant woke up hearing banging on his room’s door. He looked at cellphone for time. It was 4’o’clock in the morning. Why anyone would come to me this early, he thought. He opened the door and choked. It was Antara with diary in hand. She came to Varanasi with her cousin brother and sister without knowledge of her parents.

“What are you doing here?” asked he.

“Can I come in and explain?” replied Antara.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Who is there?” inquired Ritvik.

He woke up instantly and rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming.

“You came. Yesss! I knew you would come. I told him,” said Ritvik excitedly.

“No, I did not come back for what you are thinking. Would you please give us a moment?”

He left the room.

“I also can’t burn your diary. I know feelings you expressed in this diary are genuine. I read it once and I read it again. For one second, it made me run away from there and hug you. And, you wrote it in only four days despite your exams, because you could not imagine losing me. This was the most romantic thing anyone can do for a girl. It was a beautiful lie. Initially, I thought you were only making up for your lies, but this tells me how much you loved me. And, I loved you for every small thing you did for me. You used to come to Lucknow after i got job here after graduation. You used to meet me, stay in the hotel despite your family lives there, and leave on next day. It made me feel special. The bitter truth is, I was being so selfish. I never gave anything to this relationship. I only demanded from you. You never complained. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone better,” confessed Antara with teary eyes.

Tears rolled down from eyes of Dushyant. He wasn’t prepared for this confrontation.

“You don’t have to do anything. Just be there with me,” he replied.

“No! It’s too late now. I can’t put their reputation on the line. I can’t be selfish with parents. They gave me everything and never expected anything in return just like you. I made mistake by being selfish with you, I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I hope you understand. I am here to give you this diary. I wrote it in one day for you. I have written how I feel about you, how selfish I was and how you showered love to make my life beautiful. I am keeping your diary with me for the rest of my life and I want you to keep this diary with you.”

Dushyant took that diary.

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I have to go as soon as possible. If my father will be furious if they find me out I am not in my room on a day before my wedding. I’m so sorry and thank you for all those beautiful moments. You are a great person. You will find someone who loves you. Goodbye!”

She kissed him on chick and left. Dushyant cried bitterly after she left.

He never tried to contact her. He used to read that diary under the same tree he used to talk to. In the end, he won her heart though he lost her love.

The crazy fact is, a beautiful lie overshadows a bitter truth.


 

(Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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Not Every Guy Is A Jackass

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Holding the hand of a guy, she smiled with shyness
Who was that guy, I wondered, none of my business

Do I have any chance, hmm?? Staring them furtively
Seeking confirmation that they were just friends

Whoa, whoa, what made me think that?? Am I foolish
Or naïve or innocent?? No, that was ridiculous! Leave it!!

Ohh, I got a train to catch, hurry up, and walk faster
Missing trains by seconds is more embarrassing

And the train is 15 minutes late, what do I do now?
Late trains are meant for something, I realized

Within 2-3 minutes she arrived, this time, alone
She also wants to catch the train! Wow!!

Wait, wait!! That doesn’t mean anything..
Doesn’t it? Coincidences aren’t accidents!!

I have time to know her by observing her
Found a place to know something interesting

While staring her, I found the peace in the rush,
The solitude in the crowd and beauty in detachment

Coincidently our eyes met and it showed the reflection
Of her soul, her inner voice, her entire way of being

And, to my disappointment, the way she looked at me
Like I’m prying on her, passing my time looking at pretty face

Those suspicious, skeptical eyes were giving me the signals of
She misunderstood me, I’m not the kind of guy you think I am

I know it’s very difficult for a girl to trust any stranger,
In today’s heinous world of rapist minds and eve teasers

But I had a crush on you, and I wasn’t following you,
I was genuinely interested to know you, but not from now

You think I’m a jackass who stares every beautiful girl that passes
Not every guy is a jackass who wants pass his time anyhow

The crazy fact is, there are the guys who respect girls,
And genuinely interested in them. Yeah, we will never know how
you feel in these social scenarios, but look at us through our eyes,
Not through those hypocrites who are disgrace to humanity.


(Image courtesy of phanlop88 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Ohh No!! I Can’t Say Adios..

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And the call for job interview came.  I passed the aptitude test. But the bitter thing was that it was on the same day as the farewell party of college. In the morning there was a project competition & in the afternoon- farewell party.

I had to choose one. Actually I had no option than going for an interview. I was baffled by the fact that should I be happy for selection or sad by not being there. As I had to go for an interview.

The interview didn’t go well. The reason was not the attention towards farewell, but lack of clarity of purpose for applying for job. I could not made it to next round. But I wasn’t more upset about it, but missing the last moments with my friends.

I had fun when my friend recalled the joy which he had & I felt so bad that I missed it as well as the job.

I missed the whistles blowing in front of our stubborn & strict disciplined head of department. I missed the weirdest award distribution which included categories like Mango Man, Lady Dabangg, Cuttie Pie which was awarded to a male & chanting of different names whenever each category was announced.

Every moment I wanted to accumulate in my heart. The last moments in classroom was more precious than any other regular class. The hooting of the name of guy’s crush in front of teachers, everyone in a state of delirium, no worries of future, only cherishing the present, I really missed that.

The most favorite part I missed – They gave a long white cloth to express ourselves, so that when we will not be there, they will cherish our memories we posted there. I wanted to write many things over there, but they are now inside only.

The crazy fact is, it is easy to read the quotes about ‘sacrifice’, but when it comes to actually doing it, the pain of losing one thing for another is inevitable.

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(Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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