Why Not To Judge People?

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“Hey, why didn’t you do that task? It’s very easy,” said father to Mike.

“I know that. I tried,” replied Mike.

“No, you didn’t. Anyone can do that without using their brain, but you.”

“I didn’t do that deliberately.”

“Is that your excuse?”

“I’m naive. I can make mistakes.”

“But, not this kind of silly mistake.”

“Anybody can make silly mistakes. It won’t happen again.”

“You say this everytime. But, do the same thing again.”

‘He never understands me or helps me know how to avoid it, because he is too busy in judging me and admonishing me, likes he never made silly mistakes’ says son in his mind, standing up quietly and looking down.

*             *              *

“Why are you upset, Mike?” asked his friend Ryan.

“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” replied Mike.

“I’m not here to judge you, but to understand you.”

Mike told what happened. Ryan told him what to do instead of using his mind analyzing how he can make silly mistakes. And Mike felt good after that.

The crazy fact is, judging people yields bitterness and understanding yields strengthening of bond.


(Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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The Only Certain Thing

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“Nothing is going according to plan,” said disciple to his guru.

“You are on right track. Improvise,” replied Guru.

“But, I’ve got into things that don’t serve my purpose.”

“That’s the way it goes in the beginning.”

“If the beginning is like this, I’m afraid what will happen throughout the journey?”

“Remember, the crazy fact is, uncertainty is the only certain thing.”


(Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

What’s Inside Wasn’t Alive When It Was Light

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“I don’t know what’s going on in my life,” said a frustrated boy to monk.

“What is the matter?” asked monk.

“I think I’ve lost control over my life. I can’t do what I want to do, can’t express myself, I think I’m wasting my time, over-thinking about small things, just passing the days, not doing something that would add value to my life as well as others’ lives. I’m being someone else to show others that I’m happy, but I’m not.”

“How did you get to this point?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me, how do you spend your day?”

“I wake up at 7. Go to gym because my father wants me to. Till 8, I exercise. Then, get ready for a class at 9, which my parents wanted me to join. Till 12, I spend the time in class somehow. Till 1, I’m home. Till 4, I have lunch, play games on computer, and do some reading. From 4 to 6, I sleep. From 6 to 8, I spend time on computer again. At 8 to 10, I read or study. At 10, I have dinner and then watch TV and go to sleep.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“From past 2 months, since I finished college. I wanted to do something else. But my parents, my friends are not convinced that would work, so I am not doing it. Or sometimes, I do that. But, I can’t do that wholeheartedly.”

“Why don’t you do that? There will always be some people who don’t agree with you. It does not mean you should give in.”

“But..”

“First of all, you must accept full responsibility for what’s happening to you. You are responsible.”

“Yes, you are right. I know that. But..”

“What did you do when you were in college? Why didn’t you work on it, so till this time, you would have had something in hand as an output to back up your intentions. You give in to comforts and fun. And it has become your habit. You don’t want to do what’s difficult. You find an easy way out. You got to do what necessary and difficult. Otherwise things won’t change. It will get darker and darker for you.”

“But it’s uncomfortable.”

“Do it anyway. When it gets dark, everything ceases and the only thing that remains alive is: what’s inside. But the crazy fact is, it gets dark, because what’s inside wasn’t alive when it was light.”

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(Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

8 Ways I will help you bring SMILE For You In 2015

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Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them.
— OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, THE VOICELESS

This year, do not hold yourself back by giving in to fears and unleash your greatest potential.

8 Ways I will help you bring SMILE For You In 2015:

  1. Sharing the experiences lessons learnt while running a business on facebook, blog that will help you in your endeavor. Subscribe or Follow blog via email. Let’s be friends on facebook: Pratik Kirve
  1. Share your personal stories, experiences and struggle on your facebook profile and blogs. I’ll share them on my blog, facebook profile, page SMILE FOR YOU and twitter.
  1. Helping you know more about yourself from your smile. Send photo of your smile at iwantsmileforme@gmail.com
  1. Sharing self-help eBooks that will help you to grow your wisdom and conscience. Download some eBooks from here: Free EBooks
  1. Sharing inspirational, motivational and meaningful videos, podcasts that will help you get out of your comfort zone and do the right thing.
    Watch: Be Different – http://youtu.be/lTBsVx89Sps
  1. Consulting personally to help you find meaning and purpose in life and solve any other problems through your smile. Visit – Know Yourself
  1. Setting a vision for your life to supercharge you to live your life to its full potential every day.
  1. If you are struggling in a relationship, consulting you to solve your problems to cherish and experience a ton of joy. Visit – Relationships

Watch a video to know more: SMILE FOR YOU – http://youtu.be/cXId2sJi_C0

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” 
– William James

Just let me know how can I help you???

comment below

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(Man Offering Hand Shake Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

RUNNING A BUSINESS: SHARING AN EXPERIENCE DAY1

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I have just started a consulting business to solve people’s problems from their smiles. For the promotions of idea and how it will help them solve their problems in life, I decided that I’ll go to various colleges to target youth. First college was Modern College of Arts, Science & Commerce, Pune. I am sharing the experience and what I learnt from FIRST DAY of promotional campaigning.

On first day, I went to principal’s office to get permission to campaign in their campus. But he was busy, so peon asked me to go to vice-principal’s office. I asked for it and as I started explaining how it will help their students, he asked me, ‘which college do you represent?’ I said that I don’t represent any college. He said we don’t give permission to random people. I left. I planned a lot of things, how I was going to approach, what to say, what to show, and many more. And I also decided that I am not going to lie about anything. But now, what to do? I thought that students did not know whether I had permission or not, they were just going to listen what I had to say. So I decided that I am going to approach people in their campus by breaking the rules. I also saw a board stating that outsiders are not allowed in college premises, if found, strict action will be taken. But I decided whatever may happen, let’s have fun. I had file in which everything had explained, a page on which a story was written about how I found my purpose and a sketch to draw patterns of smile found in people to explain them about themselves. I was wearing formal dress and formal shoes.

I had everything required to start a discussion. I made up my mind to break the rules. But… As I was going to discuss something they do not know even exist, the overwhelming feeling of fear to show up, to expose myself, to express myself was so high. Even though I had everything with me to show them, but I was only walking back and forth in corridor. I couldn’t gather courage to show up. For that moment, I was nervous, uncomfortable, sweating, throbbing in chest, I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, everything was ready, but fear. I thought that breaking the rules were making me nervous, but it was an excuse. Who was going to know whether I was a stranger or college student? That wasn’t the reason. Then I thought that this was not the right platform to promote, no one will show interest, nobody had done it, and it’s new thing. All the excuses were coming into my mind. I thought that what was I thinking? Those were all excuses.

Then all the quotes about fear and getting out of comfort zone came into my mind. What you want is on the other side of fear, magic starts at the end of your comfort zone, you miss 100% of shots you didn’t take, do what’s uncomfortable and you will grow, and many others. But I thought that tomorrow, I will make mind that no matter what will happens I will approach, I will show up. Again, that was excuse. For half an hour, I was walking back and forth with these thoughts in my mind.

Then I took out files and pages of story. I was looking at them and thought, when I didn’t have this, I was hoping, wishing for this. But now I have this and I am holding myself back. I saw a group of four girls sitting in a campus and just started walking towards them, same fear, uncomfortable, just walking. When I reached, they looked me like a salesman who was going to force them to buy my product, only because I was wearing formal clothes. Their faces were irritated. My first impression sucked. With fake smile, I introduced myself, in English. Errr.. Their faces were more annoyed. I asked them for their two minutes and have a look at file. They even hesitated to take those files in hand. But they took it. I forgot everything I planned, what I was going to say, how I was going to make them take interest in idea, I started saying what was there in file, in low tone, in lower confidence, and they were reluctant to make eye contact. They were going through file just because wishing for last page to come soon and I will disappear. I was speaking in English, their heads into files, no enthusiasm in me, they were listening to me for formality. The funniest part, guys sitting next to them, but of different group was also looking at me, and one of them was winking at me, raising eyebrows, asking what’s going on, the guy-guy connection(when a guy approaches a girl, the another guy is more excited). I was telling them by blinking eyes that I’ll get back to them. I didn’t understand whether to laugh or what? In meantime, one of the girls whispered something in Marathi, I couldn’t hear it, but I understood that it was Marathi. Then, I realized that why they were not connecting with me. I started speaking in Marathi. For the first time, after introduction, they looked at me. They felt connected. As I explained everything in Marathi, they were nodding, giving response. The file finished.

Then I said to one of the girl, right now, I’ll tell about you from your smile to give you an idea of how I do. Then she became uncomfortable, she said no, not now. She was laughing, but that time I realized that I should not be the one who should fear about getting exposed. The people whom I am going to approach should fear that if I say something different about them, something weird about them, it’s them who should be worried about. She was reluctant that she wasn’t interested in knowing about her. So I gave them a page of story with contact details on it and asked them to call whenever they need me. Forget about buying my services, they were not ready to know how it works. I left. But I thank them for listening to me.

Then, it was the time for the guys sitting next to them, who were bantering on me, when I was talking to girls. They were ready to listen what I had to offer. This time, I started in Marathi. I was more relaxed, less anxiety on my face. I observed them and knew in which language they will understand (not Marathi or English, but the rowdy Marathi language). I started explaining in their tone, they felt connected, nodding, giving reactions, didn’t understand everything, but trying to. I again explained file only, no strategy executed as per the preparation, but enough to convey my idea. File finished. Then I said to a guy that I’ll tell you about you from your smile. He agreed. Everyone was listening. I drew patterns on page and started explaining everything. I gave examples with reference to who they were and in their tone. (like in rowdy Marathi, samaz tula wadaa-pav khayalaa jaychayy… I couldn’t say ‘for coffee’, they will not feel connected). So as I was explaining them in their way, everyone was surprised. They were smiling in shock, saying yes, yeah.. when I said something that relates to his nature. I said everything I had to say about him and gave him the page. Another guy stood up and said, tell me about myself. I said sure. But their friend came to them and informed them that they got to go. And everybody stood up and said, ‘we gotta go.’ I shook hand with everyone, they told me their names and said nice to meet you, I asked them to contact me on the details I gave on that page and they rushed. Looking at their appearance and body language, I thought they will make fun of me, ridicule me as they were sitting in a group, but they listened to me patiently, earnestly and treated me with respect. I came to know they were not going to buy, but I thank them for listening to me and showing interest.

I got more relaxed. I was thirsty. As I opened zip of bag to take the bottle out and looked back. A teacher in a suit was scolding a student. He was complaining that how many times they had to inform college students not to bring outsiders in the campus. I was little scared, but glad that he wasn’t referring to me. And security guard came and ordered every student in campus to go out of the gate. I thought that I just got momentum and on next second, everything finished, I had to pack up. Everyone was out of the gate. I looked around, thought I can’t approach them on streets, what impression I am going to make, and will they listen to me? Again the same thoughts of that half hour came into my mind. This time, I couldn’t gather courage to approach students on street-side. I contemplated a lot, but couldn’t. Day1 was over for me after first 20 minutes only. I could interact with 10 students only who were not potential buyers. But lot of thing I learnt from that experience that I am going to improve on the next day.

I am sharing some insights that would help you in your endevour to design the best life for yourself:

1. Know with whom you are interacting and Speak Their Language.

2.Talk more about how it will benefit them and what they are concerned about than what it is actaully or technically.

3. Appearance matters, but target audience matters more. We have to look like one of them to connect with them.

4. If it is certain that we miss 100% of the shots we didn’t take, why not to take a shot, take a chance.

5. Our competancy, preparation, passion and all on one hand, they are important. But if we don’t have that one quality on the other hand, it’s all usslasss.. That quality is Courage To Show Up.

6. The crazy fact is, there only one step to aquire that quality : JUST GO & DO IT. There were no any other ways or steps I could find.

In next post, I’ll share experience of DAY2.

Thanks for reading. Add your own lessons and express your views if I missed anything, give your feedback to improve..

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(Image courtesy of nokhoog_buchachon at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

It’s Dark

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It’s dark when you don’t know

What to write, what’s going on in your mind

It’s dark when you feel depressed

In safety, desires uncertainty

It’s dark when you realize

The day will take too much time to get over

It’s dark when you want this moment to pass faster

But realize time won’t run faster for you

It’s dark when you realize that

You can’t play the odds and

Don’t want to play the man

It’s dark when you realize that emotions

Which were your weapons

Are now holding you back

It’s dark when you are made

To believe what you contradicted

It’s dark when you know you are

Compromising yourself and

Those compromises are not worth suffering for

It’s dark when you come to know what

You built over the period of time

Has been vanished in a blink of an eye

And the crazy fact, it’s too dark

When you realize that you have to

Live upon hope, not in faith

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(Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Who’s Mad??

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The problem is not they don’t trust me

The thing is they form opinions

Based on others’ prejudices

Some of them are them are such losers

Who refused to try and don’t want

Others to try and experience something

That is unexplored, unique

They want me to do what others think,

Is right or wrong, good or bad

They fail to realize that those others

Have formed their opinions based on

What others think is right

That means no one knows what is right

Everybody doing things based on what

Others think is right or wrong

There is no defined thing as right

They only guess that certain things,

Certain actions are right because

Others may be thinking them as right

So we don’t want to feel vulnerable

In those eyes, who has no idea,

What they are doing, what they have done

Only those people judge others

Who can’t do something on their own

So they need approval on each step

They take, that they are doing right

And if they see someone doing

Something different, something unreasonable

They do what they do the best

They judge and talk behind their back

And the crazy fact, those who know where

They are going are considered as ‘mad’,

And those who wander here and there

Trying to be right in others’ eyes

Without knowing what they are doing

Are considered as ‘normal’..

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(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Where To Find Courage

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I don’t know what is going on in mind

Don’t know why my head is aching

My eyes heavy, feeling purposeless

Feeling bored, feeling stuck in a time warp

I feel like my actions are restricted,

Not free, not driven by purpose

It’s bound to rules or trying to

Create an impression or image

Or don’t feel love, appreciated

No free and fearless actions

There is a rope to which

I’m bound, not allowing me to escape

Can’t do anything in my way,

Signed up for fulfilling expectations of

Others, for their approval

But I know that’s not my way

So what? Try to find an intermediate way

But that way involves compromising yourself

Doing things half-heartedly, mechanically

Without emotions and feelings involved

I’m a human, I can’t do that

In order to do things in my way

Doing what I think is right for me

Requires courage, confronting fears

Coming out of comfort zone

But don’t want to be uncomfortable

Because the crazy fact is,

People who are supposed to be my greatest fans,

Do not believe in me, then

From where I’m supposed to find courage

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(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

When Fate Makes The Call

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After the hastiness of whole day of shopping, Mayur’s family arrived at a bus stop. Mayur, 20 years old, being an introverted person, he could not hold on for much time around the people. His affinity for being alone was the reason for getting desperate to reach home as soon as possible. But, they missed a bus as he was in himself and lost the track in the crowd with his family for a moment.

“Because of you, we missed that bus. Next bus is after 25 minutes. Where are you?” complained his mother.

“Yeah, he is too slow. Always lost in his world,” quipped his brother.

Mayur neglected their complaints and sat down in a queue at the bus stop.

“Ohh, we forgot to buy a Tiffin box for me,” said brother.

“Now?” questioned mother.

“Now, we have to go again in the market,” ridiculed brother by looking at Mayur.

“No way, I am going to come again,” opposed Mayur giving an anguished cry.

They both laughed noticing Mayur’s annoyance.

Next to them, three girls and an old woman were chuckling. The girl in the middle who was refusing to take the money for tickets from another girl, grabbed his attention. Same alluring eyes, same generous smile, same liberal and considerate nature, same simplicity, same elegance, same grace. She reminded him of his crush of college days, Deepika, whom he secretly admired; but never dared to talk in two years. For the past three years, he had been following her profile on social media, fantasizing to have a date with her.

He sat there, reminiscing about her, smiling alone, blaming himself for not approaching her, concealing his true feelings. At that instant, he saw a couple trying to find a bus. He envied them, thinking he will never have the same fun.

After 5 minutes, with the frustrated mindset he stops thinking about it and starts observing people, peddlers, drivers and conductors who were passing by. A bus of another destination leaves the depot. As soon as it leaves, he saw two girls, one on the bike and another standing, talking to her. His eyes broadened. He wasn’t able to see her face, but as she looked sideways, he was dumbfounded. She was Deepika. His eyes were popping out. The alluring eyes for which he secretly admired, the generous smile which he always wanted to see, the simplicity which he thought everyone should has, the grace and elegance for what he always was speechless.

But at the moment, his chest, throbbing; his forehead, full of sweat, his mind; blank. Staring at her, he started thinking about what just happened, was she really there or he was imagining all this. He looked at the girl in the middle of three, and then back to Deepika. Was his imagination an augury of its manifestation? He couldn’t understand what was going on.

She said goodbye to her friend and coming towards the same queue as Mayur. His thoughts entangled, she will be in the same bus, then will she remember him, if yes, then what will he talk about, his family is with him, should he express his feelings towards her, or he should avoid himself from getting noticed.

Deepika was coming closer. Mayur looked around to avoid any eye contact. And suddenly, she turned towards depot office. He observed that she asked something to depot manager, looked at her watch, stood still and then went away. Apparently, his hopes dwindled as she disappeared. He could no longer see her. He never anticipated that excitement, astonishment, uncertainty will be vanished instantly. For one moment, he fantasized about what he might talk about in bus and in next moment, those things had proved meaningless, because they were never coming out. Was it just a coincidence of his imagination about her and she was appearing in front of him, or was the missing a bus in the first place meant to lead something, he found no explanation. He never believed in fate or destiny, but this made him rethink about it. So, he strived to find an explanation or justification for whatever is happening, why does it happen?

The inscrutable equations of life were out of his mind’s capability. On his way to home, those 10 minutes were looping in his mind, but all his efforts to find an explanation for that were in vain.

The crazy fact is, when fate makes the call; regardless of, in whose court the ball is, no one gets the point.

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{Image courtesy of  Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net}

Uncertain Table Of Life

PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields

“Your Father was a humorist. He used to write humorous stories for hours, sitting here in tranquility. People loved his stories a lot,” said Michelle to her 8 years old grandson.

“Wow!” replied Oliver.

“You were only few months old. On that day, he was walking roadside, observing the world to seek stories, and a car crashed him. This table has not seen him since.”

“How did this happen?”

“A drunken man was driving that car.”

“Why did this have to happen to him?”

“The crazy fact is, you can certainly control what happens on this table, but not on the uncertain table of life.”

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This post is also a part of  Friday Fictioneers – 15 August 2014