You don’t talk much,
You are a quiet guy, they said.
Quite unaware of endless conversations,
I’m having in my head.
You don’t talk much,
You are a quiet guy, they said.
Quite unaware of endless conversations,
I’m having in my head.
Those times were distractions,
Taking me away from my goals.
I looked back,
They were great memories,
Taking me closer to myself.
Why didn’t I enjoy?
Those moments were precious.
The time only teaches,
Lessons which are invaluable.
I won’t get back that time,
To live wholeheartedly this time.
Is there anything that tells,
Where to focus on?
What did I get?
By overlooking those moments.
That’s how conscience develops,
By making mistakes.
By accepting the truth.
The crazy fact,
Not my goals,
But knowledge of ages.
(Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
As I woke up,
I noticed it was light outside,
Oh, no..!! I missed it.
I checked out time,
It was 6 in the morning.
Last time I saw,
It was 4:55 am and dark outside.
As my friends wanted this trip to beach,
For drinking and smoking,
And losing themselves.
For me, it was about,
Sitting at the shore alone,
And watching the transition,
From darkness to light.
As I decided not to sleep,
I couldn’t settle and gazed about those shades,
And everyone settled after showing,
New shades of their personalities
And reflecting on their lives.
I lay down for a moment,
And my eyes gave up.
As I missed that opportunity,
I thought I should see what’s left.
I noticed sun hasn’t risen yet,
So I can watch the palette of colors,
As sun rises on the horizon,
And water reflects those colors,
And I can reflect on my life.
As I rushed to the shore instantly,
I entered and stopped for a while,
Then, I realized eyes have limits.
They can see up to the horizon only,
So we have got imagination,
To see beyond horizon
And create an unimaginable world.
As I walked barefoot on white sand,
I could see a trail of footsteps,
Telling me, that’s what happens,
Wherever you go, whatever you do,
The trail will be left, though it’s unseen to you,
The footprints will remain in people’s minds,
About how you made them feel about themselves.
As I glanced at the sea,
The blustery winds blew my hair,
The turbulent and massive sea,
Was calling me out and mess with it,
And I thought of diving in the middle of it,
And what will happen to me,
The thought sent shivers down my spine.
As I saw the roaring waves coming and going,
What does that tell you?
The life is a turbulent sea,
These ebb tides and flood tides,
Are happiness and sadness.
They will come and go,
So stay strong, this, too, shall pass.
As I see no signs of sun,
It’s all white and black.
Then why am I here? I should go.
But it started drizzling instantly,
And I closed my eyes and felt every drop.
The sun was telling, by hiding behind clouds,
Forget everything and feel the moment.
As I heard a chirping sound,
I saw birds were hovering over,
Humming a tune in unison,
How beautiful it was!
Even though you don’t get what you want,
They were saying, there is always,
Something more beautiful awaiting you.
As I thought of going back to room,
Do I have anything more to see,
Anything new to experience?
And I realized what about reflecting,
Back on life and finding the truths,
And accepting them,
No matter how much I refuse to.
As I started contemplating,
I could see everything,
In white and black,
No complications, no manipulation,
A white truth about black reality,
It hits like a bullet,
Fired from a point black range.
As the crazy fact is,
The sun was making sure,
The shades he reflects on clouds,
Those black and white colors,
Helped me to get my mind straight,
Because the truth doesn’t have shades,
Only manipulation inserts shades in it.
Continued From – Part 2
Days were passing by with a confused state of mind. Bhuvika was learning to avoid thinking about him and focus her energy on things that matter. One day, she saw Vikesh limping off. He met with an accident. He limped off with a sprained ankle. Bhuvika’s sensitive side made her to think about asking him how he was. She discussed this thought with Sheena. She advised her to try. Bhuvika asked sheena to go with her. She knew she couldn’t do this all alone. They saw him in the basement sitting alone and approached.
“How is your leg?” asked Bhuvika politely.
“It’s none of your business,” replied Vikesh rudely and looked away.
“I am trying to know how your condition is and you’re being rude.”
“So, what? I can be what I want to be. You don’t tell me what I should do.”
Bhuvika walked away, agitated by his response. Sheena asked her to wait, but she didn’t. The response was hurtful. It was him who misunderstood everything, never took an initiative to clear out misunderstanding, and treated her with disrespect. Again, it was difficult to understand. She only had a choice to run away from there and be alone. Sheena didn’t try to console her, but rebuked Vikesh.
“Why are you doing this to her? Don’t you have a decency to talk to someone who asks about your health? Is this how you treat people who care about you? How can you be rude to her? This is unacceptable,” rebuked Sheena.
“You know everything. You know how she treated me. You know she didn’t come to the restaurant on that day. She didn’t even reply whether she is coming or not. This is the way she treated me and you expect me to treat her with decency?” snapped Vikesh.
“After the word you used to describe your relationship on that phone call, you expect her to reply? She was going out with her husband that day to sort out their issues. She didn’t go out with him because she could not focus on anything after your conversation. Then, she tried to strike conversations with you many times. But, you can’t get over your ego. You didn’t have decency at that time and not even this time. At least try to know her side of story. Without knowing the whole picture, you are jumping on conclusions. This is not the right way to deal with misunderstandings. It seems you don’t care, she is the one who is concerned about solving the misunderstanding and you are concerned about feeding your ego. I can’t stand here for one more moment.”
Sheena left him and tried to console Bhuvika. But she asked for alone time.
She wanted to concentrate on her work, but she couldn’t. She wanted to improve relationship with her husband, but she couldn’t. All because of this unsolved misunderstanding and unresolved issues. She was not able to figure out why she was investing her mind to figure out what were her feelings about the man who didn’t care about her. He was living in a misunderstanding and she was living in a hope that he would leave his ego aside and talk.
He didn’t clarify that he no longer wanted to have any contact with Bhuvika. He stared her while having a walk in office spaces, tried to know what was happening in her life, and did everything to know what she was up to. For him, he was taking a revenge for accusations his mind imagined. She was also at fault as she was investing her mind in thinking about him, hoping for a clarification, and spoiled every other thing that didn’t concern him – her happiness, her peace of mind, and her life.
Bhuvika was not able to understand what kind of feelings she had for him as she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She second-guessed herself every time she was doing something. She was relating her thoughts to these confused thoughts about him. As a result, she was losing confidence in her work, and most importantly, in herself. She was trying everything to escape from these thoughts. Spreading happiness by helping others was her drug to cure from this devastation. But it didn’t work for long. As she saw someone getting happy because of her small acts of help and kindness, she got happy for a moment. As her mind calmed, those thoughts reemerged to remind her about what she was going through and she was pretending to be. She saw everyone getting happy, but at the end of the day, what about her happiness? Does anyone care about that? What about her life? Will it go on in a way it was going on? Nobody knew. Not even her!
Happiness wasn’t a state of mind. Because, the state of mind got disturbed when irrational things happened and all she could do was wait for things to change. Approaching him for clarifications and sorting out misunderstanding would have been a compromise of her self-respect after what he had done to her. The ball was in the court of Vikesh, but he kept it in his pocket. His hand was busy in feeding his ego.
The simple solution would have been a difficult conversation that clarifies everything. But, he was reluctant to dive into those feeling which would reveal the truth. He was afraid to face the truth and more afraid of the fact that he won’t be able to accept the truth. So, he kept everything hanging. He was living under his own perceptions and wasn’t ready to accept the truth. His actions were driven by ego as well as lack of will to understand and clarify. He was also suffering from lack of clarifications and unresolved issues. He was not happy too, but didn’t realize that he was also spoiling someone’s life. The unanswered questions and irrational behavior were spoiling everyone. It stuck everyone at the same place. Her mistake was to stick her mind to it, but she couldn’t help herself over the fact that he was behaving strange and didn’t want to confront. He made a choice to keep everything hanging and she got used to live with lack of clarity. She had no option. Her heart was getting broken again and again. She collected the broken pieces every time to make it ready to break again. The size of broken pieces changed, but breaking did not stop.
The crazy fact is, not confronting to the truth hangs you, but doesn’t kill you.
(Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
Continued from – Part 1
Gradually, things started falling in place. They started meeting after office hours, weekends, and having fun together. They were having a great time together. Sharing ambitions again, sharing dreams again, and sharing a bond of friendship. This time, even stronger.
Bhuvika’s relationship with her husband was bitter. They were friends, decided to marry, but it didn’t work out as they thought it would. Her husband’s lack of commitment was creating a drift between them. He wanted to live a life of bachelor even after marriage. He needed a lot of space, hang out with friends, and do things whenever he wanted. He barely gave her time she deserved. So, their relationship was getting worse. On the other side, she was having great time with Vikesh. They formed a group with Sheena and Vikesh’s friend Sagar. Four of them used to hang out together after office hours and weekends. All of them formed a strong bond and were having a great time together.
One day, Sheena, Vikesh, and Sagar were hanging out at a restaurant. . Bhuvika was unawre of it. Vikesh called Bhuvika to ask if she would come. She refused because she was going out with her husband. She was having problems with her husband and they were going out to sort out issues. She refused to go even after he insisted.
“Come on, come here! We will have fun,” said Vikesh on phone.
“No, I can’t. It’s too far,” replied Bhuvika. She never told him that she had issues with her husband.
“Everyone is here. Sheena, Sagar, and me. What if it’s too far? Take your time.”
“No, I can’t come.”
“Distance is only an excuse. If you love me, you will come,” said Vikesh and ended the call.
It came as a shock for Bhuvika. It was unexpected and she was perplexed. She thought that they had a bond of friendship. A bond which is pure and unalloyed. She was devastated again. This strange behavior and phone calls were making her anxious. She could not go out with her husband that day. She needed to sort this issue first and take time to understand what happened. It was difficult to rationalize how he could see this relationship in a way he saw. It was beyond her understanding and she was disappointed as well. For a moment, she wanted to believe it was just a hallucination. She was a practical thinker and knew what happened. Her husband was disappointed as well. But, he thought that he had done this before with her, so she was just trying to act to show him how it feels to be taken for granted.
She started reminiscing all the moments they spent together. She knew it wasn’t love, but didn’t know what was it? She was furious and could not focus her thoughts on rationalizing what her feelings were for him. It was infatuation or attraction or just a way to escape from reality that her husband took her for granted. It was easier for her to believe that her husband was not giving her enough time. But, what Vikesh said after all these moments they spent together, was making her agitated.
She locked herself in the room. This was not what she did when she was depressed. She had a lot of friends and she always talked to one of them if she was angry or depressed. This time, it was different. Everything was beyond rationalization. She got confused about her feelings. The moment he used the word ‘love’ was the moment she went into ‘shock’ again. Did she give wrong signals? Or it was his perception? She just wanted to scream at that moment and nothing else. But she couldn’t as she needed to look good in front of everyone. So, she squeezed everything inside.
Vikesh and Bhuvika never had a conversation after this incident. Sheena knew everything, but refused to intervene this time. She let her handle everything. Bhuvika was a sensitive person. She shared her feeling with Sheena, but Sheena didn’t try to make Vikesh realize what he said on phone that day. Bhuvika lost trust in her. She was with them. Now, she was refusing to intervene. She stood by her on the first time when Vikesh acted weird. This time, she was refusing. Everything got worse day by day. Her relationship with husband was not improving, Vikesh said something unbelievable, and Sheena’s loyalty was in question. All she could do was, try to escape from her thoughts. So, she immersed herself in the work. She submersed herself into the computer screen and made sure she doesn’t get into the company of her thoughts. She was broken, tried to spread smile, and tried to help everyone in the office. She was pretending that she was happy when she saw others being happy. She hid everything behind her makeup. Nothing was going right. She couldn’t sleep well. She barely slept for two to three hours every day. Not a single thing made her happy. Everything started falling apart.
She even tried to talk to Vikesh, but he refused to talk every time. Her mind was eating her up. It was difficult for her to live with this state of mind in which lack of clarity was driving her life. She was stuck. She stayed at her mother’s place. Clarity gives power, but lack of clarity breaks a person down. No matter how strong that person is, if the mind is unclear about anything, it affects every aspect of life. She wasn’t able to focus on one thing at a time, couldn’t enjoy her work, and lost the peace of mind. All she did was to hope that the time runs faster and one day, her mind will get clear.
The crazy fact is, an unclear mind makes sure that every aspect of life gets ruined.
Click Here for – Part 3
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
“This is Vikesh. He is the vice president of the company,” Sheena introduced Vikesh to Bhuvika.
Sheena was marketing executive of a start-up firm, Oberoi and Partners, and Bhuvika’s good friend. Bhuvika recently completed two months in the firm as a junior marketing executive. Vikesh had a dynamic personality, cunning, and a sense of humor. His fierce red eyes and full grown beard made an impression of a mafia, but he was totally opposite of it. He was caring, compassionate, and easygoing. The firm had 50 employees.
“Nice to meet you, sir!” Bhuvika replied, shaking hands.
“How’s your work?” asked Vikesh.
“Good. Trying to settle down,” said Bhuvika with little nervousness.
Bhuvika was a married woman, hard-working, dedicated, and ambitious. He aspired to have his own startup firm. One thing for which everyone admired Bhuvika was the level of efforts she put into work. She gave her heart and blood at every place she worked. Everyone could see a future entrepreneur in her. She also caught the eye of CEO of the firm.
Bhuvika was afraid to meet Vikesh for obvious reasons. His eyes and his attire. As they starting interacting more and more, her opinion about him changed. She started to believe that first impression is not the last impression. They had some common things. Both of them were aspiring entrepreneurs, ambitious, dedicated to work, and gave every ounce of blood to the company they worked for. Day by day, they started interacting more. They shared dreams, aspirations, and having nearly similar visions for future. It was enough to make a strong bond. Their friendship grew. The distance between the positions in the company didn’t matter. They had same set of visions for future.
They started meetings after the office hours, interacted more, and liked each others’ company. Their closeness was a topic of gossip in the office. They had a strong bond, a bond shared between two dreamers. Everything was going good, both of them were happy, enjoyed their work and conversations full of ideas & dreams until that day.
“I heard people gossiping about us. They think we are having an affair. If this is what people think about me, I can’t take it. What about my reputation? I am at a senior position of the firm,” said Vikesh to Bhuvika on the phone.
Bhuvika was shocked. Out of the blue, he called her and said this. She was spellbound, didn’t know what to say, and somehow she uttered, “Why should we care about what they are thinking? We know we are good friends and ambitious people.”
“I care. I have a reputation to maintain.”
“So do I. But I don’t care about these gossips. Let them talk. Why do we have to worry about it? Who were gossiping about us? I will confront them and clear everything out.”
“No, you don’t understand. Think about it from my position. A vice president of the firm is having an affair with a marketing executive. This is what they are talking about.”
“Let them talk. And we will sort this out tomorrow. Not on the phone.”
Bhuvika was perplexed to hear that. She could not believe what just happened. Vikesh called her and complained about those talkers who didn’t know what was going on. She was also shocked to know that a vice president cares about these meaningless things. How will he survive as an entrepreneur? There will be misunderstandings and he has to go through hell at time during the journey. She couldn’t believe that it mattered to him people saying a vice president of the firm is having an affair with a marketing executive. She admired him for his aspirations and dreams. A dreamer goes through critics & naysayers, but keeps on moving without caring what others think about him. But, it was strange. It was pointless to ruin a strong bond based on what people are saying. His strange behavior was beyond her understanding. She became restless, so she shared everything with Sheena. Sheena gave her strength and asked her to keep calm. She was relieved to talk to her.
The next day.
“What was that? Just because some people are gossiping about you two, you became tense and cry about it,” confronted sheena to Vikesh. The hierarchy of the office didn’t matter. Bhuvika was quiet and Vikesh looked unapologetic.
“I thought you would understand, but you don’t,” replied Vikesh.
“There is nothing to understand. You are behaving weird. And if you have a problem with people gossiping about you, let’s go and confront those people. Let’s go now,” said Sheena with determination.
“I don’t care about what people are saying. We know that there nothing between us, but a bond of friendship and our aspirations about future. Maybe those people have nothing to look forward to, so they gossip. It should not matter to us,” said Bhuvika.
“What are you saying about reputation? Doesn’t she have a reputation to maintain? Only you have a reputation. She is also respected for her work and dedication. You know that, even CEO knows that. Why are you behaving so childish?” slammed Sheena.
Vikesh was silent, staring in a blank space.
“Say something or let’s go and confront those people who were gossiping. Let’s go,” continued Sheena.
Bhuvika was ready to confront, but Vikesh wasn’t. He thought that confrontation would spoil his image more. So, he tried to avoid it by lying about it.
“No, let’s forget about it. Let them talk. I understand. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have behaved like that. I lost my cool knowing that people were misunderstanding me for nothing. We have a bond and they are spoiling it. I get it. I shouldn’t give any attention to it,” said Vikesh.
“There you go,” said Sheena. A smile blossomed on the face of Bhuvika.
“That’s what I was trying to say from yesterday,” said Bhuvika, relieved.
“Ohkk, let’s finish this topic right now. No one will talk about it again. No explanations need to be given,” clarified Sheena.
The crazy fact is, avoiding confrontation is an easy way out, but it doesn’t promise it won’t haunt again in the long run.
Click Here for – Part 2
(Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
“Don’t do this to yourself! You deserve better. She is gone,” commanded Ritvik to Dushyant, banging door of Dushyant’s room. Danny and Pritam also tried to convince him to open the door.
“Leave me alone! Jussssss go,” replied Dushyant from inside his room.
Dushyant was drunk for entire two days after love of his life, Antara, left him. She left him because she was getting married as per her parents’ wishes.
Dushyant was handsome, intelligent, charming, emotional, and carefree. He was straight-forward, but not arrogant. He enjoyed solitude, but was not a loner. His good looks with well-built body flaunted his well-natured demeanor. An ideal boyfriend every girl wants to have. People had a playboy image when they saw him. But, the reality was different. Besides his good looks, loyalty was the most valuable asset of him. He was madly in love with beautiful, smart, witty, but dominating and arrogant girl, Antara. The love he bestowed upon her made her feel like a princess. She was two years older than him. They were in the same college in Varanasi.
His friends were banging the door continuously. Dushyant did not care. He was burning everything regarding their relationship to on that day with tears in his eyes. It did not make him feel better. The wildfire of pain inside his heart was scorching him than the heat of that fire. He burnt everything, but he stopped at a moment when he saw the only thing remaining to get burnt. The diary.
He looked for a moment at diary, wiped his tears, and opened the door. They abruptly went inside. Danny extinguished fire and other two inspected the room to ensure that he had done nothing wrong. All they could see was more than 10 empty bottles and a half empty bottle of alcohol, things scattered everywhere and Dushyant standing at the door with a diary in hand. They were puzzled when they noticed that he was staring in blank space.
“Just sit down,” commanded Danny.
“I wannaaaa meet her. Right nowwwww!” slammed Dushyant.
“You are out of your mind. Just sit down,” said Pritam.
“No, you are out of your mind! My life is ruined, and it will be devastated if I don’t meet her right now,” retorted Dushyant in clear voice.
“Why do you want to meet her?” asked Ritvik.
“I burnt everything, but couldn’t burn thisssss,” he replied, showing them diary, “And you all know the reason.”
* * *
Dushyant could barely stand straight. It was 10’o’clock in the night. They took him in Danny’s car to travel from Varanasi to Lucknow. Ritvik informed Antara that they were coming to her place. She refused initially, but agreed on one condition. This will be the last time she meets him. Only two days were left for her wedding day. It took them six hours to reach to her place. In those four hours, his friends did everything to make him little stable.
A cold breeze in the garden near her home was ready to witness the last meeting. She left home with her cousin sister. Dushyant and his friends were already there. Dushyant was sitting on a bench. As soon as they arrived, Ritvik gestured Danni and Pritam to leave them alone. They left him and went outside the garden. Antara asked her sister to leave them alone for some time. She agreed and joined boys outside.
Antara stared angrily at Dushyant for a while. He stared back blankly.
“What have you done to yourself?” said Antara in an anguished tone.
“Wow! The sword which gave me scars is asking me how I got these scars,” replied Dushyant.
“Why are you doing this? You know this is not possible. How many times do I have to tell you the same thing?”
“I know. This is not possible. I left all the hope. I left everything, friends, study, and family for some time. I got crazy. I used to talk to a tree about how much I loved you and how you are selfish and left me with nothing but shattered dreams. I burnt everything that reminded me I spent some moments with you. All the gifts and cards which meant nothing. But, I could not burn this.”
He showed her the diary.
“This is a diary you wrote for me. I read what’s inside. I know you expressed your feelings. But this is not enough. You have to understand. When caste, age, and honor are on the line, my parents will not consider this as worthy for allowing me to spend my life with you. Well, forget it; my wedding is in two days. So, just go. If you are trying to get me back, I am not coming with you.”
“I am not here to get you back. I am here to give you this diary. Burn it, because I can’t.”
“Give me! I’ll do it.”
“How easy it is for you to burn this! You know what, I shouldn’t have written it in those exam days. But, the thought of not meeting you again killed me and I wrote it instead of studying.”
“What are you talking about? You wrote it every day.”
“No, I didn’t. I lied to you that I was writing a diary for you. You remember you told me that I don’t get to meet you if I don’t bring this diary. And timing couldn’t be better. You demanded this when my fourth semester exams were going on. So, I went to market, bought a diary, four different pens, and started writing. I put earlier dates, used different pens, and spent four days to make it look real. My friends were telling me to study, but I didn’t. I thought I can give those exams again, but I can’t live if I lose you.”
“I didn’t know you were lying.”
“It wasn’t about lying; it was about the thought of not meeting you again. It was about the thought of losing you. It was about those genuine feelings. The dates were manipulated, but those feelings weren’t. And if you don’t understand that, it’s not worth ruining my life over you.”
He gave diary to her and left.
* * *
Dushyant woke up hearing banging on his room’s door. He looked at cellphone for time. It was 4’o’clock in the morning. Why anyone would come to me this early, he thought. He opened the door and choked. It was Antara with diary in hand. She came to Varanasi with her cousin brother and sister without knowledge of her parents.
“What are you doing here?” asked he.
“Can I come in and explain?” replied Antara.
“Who is there?” inquired Ritvik.
He woke up instantly and rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming.
“You came. Yesss! I knew you would come. I told him,” said Ritvik excitedly.
“No, I did not come back for what you are thinking. Would you please give us a moment?”
He left the room.
“I also can’t burn your diary. I know feelings you expressed in this diary are genuine. I read it once and I read it again. For one second, it made me run away from there and hug you. And, you wrote it in only four days despite your exams, because you could not imagine losing me. This was the most romantic thing anyone can do for a girl. It was a beautiful lie. Initially, I thought you were only making up for your lies, but this tells me how much you loved me. And, I loved you for every small thing you did for me. You used to come to Lucknow after i got job here after graduation. You used to meet me, stay in the hotel despite your family lives there, and leave on next day. It made me feel special. The bitter truth is, I was being so selfish. I never gave anything to this relationship. I only demanded from you. You never complained. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone better,” confessed Antara with teary eyes.
Tears rolled down from eyes of Dushyant. He wasn’t prepared for this confrontation.
“You don’t have to do anything. Just be there with me,” he replied.
“No! It’s too late now. I can’t put their reputation on the line. I can’t be selfish with parents. They gave me everything and never expected anything in return just like you. I made mistake by being selfish with you, I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I hope you understand. I am here to give you this diary. I wrote it in one day for you. I have written how I feel about you, how selfish I was and how you showered love to make my life beautiful. I am keeping your diary with me for the rest of my life and I want you to keep this diary with you.”
Dushyant took that diary.
“Please, don’t leave me.”
“I have to go as soon as possible. If my father will be furious if they find me out I am not in my room on a day before my wedding. I’m so sorry and thank you for all those beautiful moments. You are a great person. You will find someone who loves you. Goodbye!”
She kissed him on chick and left. Dushyant cried bitterly after she left.
He never tried to contact her. He used to read that diary under the same tree he used to talk to. In the end, he won her heart though he lost her love.
The crazy fact is, a beautiful lie overshadows a bitter truth.
(Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
I came out of temple after taking blessings
A girl in a queue gazed and smiled at me
I passed without giving it a thought
After a moment, it stuck in my mind
I don’t know why she looks at me in that way
It is like we have relation for years
It is like we know each other before our eyes meet
Eyes didn’t just meet, she was staring at me
Though I don’t know why, but I could see in her eyes
The look was genuine, not mean
It felt a strong connection
I saw her for the first time, but she
Looked at me like I was someone close to her
I saw that look on woman who found someone
A soulmate or a charming prince
No, I am jumping to weird conclusions
It’s not that simple, isn’t it?
Her gaze made me nervous and curious
Why would someone look at me like this?
I am not a celebrity whom girls fantasize to meet
And go crazy the moment their eyes meet
Her smile and gaze was confident and real
I was not looking weird or joker that
She realized I am not aware of
And she looked at me out of innocence
No, she is not from school or college
Yes, the gaze was not when a stranger sees a stranger
She knows me, but I don’t remember her
I have to meet her, but she is inside and I need to wait
I waited and waited contemplating about possibilities
Reminiscing past event trying to find connections
My mind loaded with anxiety as I couldn’t find any
And I saw her coming out with her family and relatives
She didn’t see me, she just passed by
I can’t approach her while she is with them
So I followed them and found where she lives
I have to wait for her to come out alone
You know your soulmate when you see him
You don’t have to do anything, but smile
If it is about that, then why she is not trying
To find me as I am trying to find a moment
Seven days passed and I couldn’t find her alone
I again recollected that incident when she looked at me
I put a pressure on my mind to know
Whether she was joking with her family or not
And she didn’t catch my gaze accidentally while smiling
Even if this happened, my heart wasn’t ready to accept it
It was so unreasonable; it was telling me again and again
That there is something beyond a reason or logic
On the 8th day, I found her walking alone
I need to approach her and clarify everything
I jumped into her way and she startled
For a moment, she was blank and I was confused
Didn’t she recognize me or what?
I was thinking about the bond of many births
I should go, but I muttered ‘hi’ somehow
And she gave me a blank expression
I was sure that she didn’t recognize me
Or she is acting like she didn’t know me
I muttered ‘sorry’ with a guilt to stop her all sudden
My face was full of remorse
And I turned around to leave as soon as I can
To avoid embarrassment due to my stupidity
How stupid I was to jump on those conclusions
It was an accidental gaze and nothing at all
And something happened that made her smile
And she turned around and accidentally caught my gaze
Going to temple made me believe in concepts like
Soulmate, or no coincidence, everything is planned
I thought I Wasted seven days waiting for nothing
I should come back to reality from dream world
Be practical and realistic, that makes sense
As I turned around a voice came from back
It was she who said, no need to be embarrassed
It was me who should be, not you
I was perplexed, but she was assertive
She meant what she said to me
There was an awkward silence in which
I was solving the mystery of that look
And everything unraveled in a way I wanted
There was something for sure, but I still don’t know
What it was exactly and I was there to know
Now, the relief and satisfaction was in my smile
I gazed her in a way she gazed at me that time
The moment I was about to say something
She said I don’t know why I smiled
And looked at you in a way I did
When I saw you, I thought we have connection
I know you for years or births, I don’t know
But that feeling was magical,
I couldn’t help myself and those feelings
I couldn’t hide, and I didn’t want to
I didn’t know what was that?
Which attracted me towards you?
Made me give you that look with smile
I was avoiding it considering it was nothing
But I can’t escape from heart
The heart wants what it wants
It told me that it means something
I noticed you are here waiting for me
From last seven days with a hope
And I made you do this and wasted your time
But I realized I can’t run away from the truth
I was nodding with a big ‘no’ expression on my face
She didn’t waste my time
I enjoyed every bit of it no doubt
Why couldn’t I, if it meant what I was listening now
I would have waited for years to hear this
She stopped and I could see a look on her
A look waiting for a reply from me
I admitted that I was having the same feelings
There is something between us which is
Still a mystery and there is no name for it
And I don’t know when it will unfold
Till we can only try to figure out
She said there are some mysteries not meant to unfold
They have to be accepted as it is
No one can find a reason or logic
Some encounters are not meant for coincidences
They are meant for something valuable
Something precious and they are once in a lifetime
Running away from those will only result in regrets
I will tell you what it meant really
I felt like I found my soulmate and so
The look and smile with satisfaction
Came spontaneously from core of my soul
That wasn’t a mere expression of feelings
That was a signal from my soul
I was overwhelmed with her words
Thought that she is so brave to accept it
And candid that she admitted it to me
She is a brave girl
Before I say anything, she interrupted
It is fine that you don’t feel the same way
Absolutely fine if you do not believe
In a concept of soulmate or no coincidences
But I do and you can tell me what you think
I can wait as long as you want
Take your time and tell me what you believe
I am strong enough to accept the truth
She was on the verge of leaving
But I didn’t want her to go
A voice inside my head was telling me
Stop her; I want to stay with you forever
I raised my hand up in an attempt to stop her
Someone held my hand and asked
Where are you, what’s going on?
For a moment, I didn’t realize what’s happening
It was my bro and I was in my bed
I was dreaming and this was the dream
I never wanted to end and the crazy fact,
The end of beautiful dreams is so traumatic
(Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
Rumi was a Persian poet in 13th century, also known as Jalāl ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi, Mawlana, Mevlana in Turkey and Molavi in Iran. He was also a Jurist, Islam scholar, theologian and Sufi mystic. His poems reflect the great wisdom of life. Having translated widely into different languages of the world, the essence of life in his poems made his one of the most popular and best-selling poets. He wrote mostly in Persian, but occasionally, he used Turkish, Arabic and Greek as well. His work has been read in Persian language in Iran and other Persian speaking countries.
Rumi’s major work ‘Matnawiye Manawi’ is considered as one of the greatest works of mystical poetry, containing nearly 27,000 lines of poetry which is a six-volume collection. His legacy holds the importance in this era also as his philosophy is relevant after 7 centuries. Here are some of the quotes by Rumi that will make you contemplate about life:
His contribution to world literature is extraordinary. His philosophy through his poems conveys deep feelings of human beings and touches hearts of millions. The influence of Rumi on the literature world is remarkable. That is why he is one of the most revered poets in the history.
The crazy fact is, his quotes are simple and short, but conveys deep meaning of life.